Legend of the Weeker: Wizard

Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with Richard guiding the group with the compass. Zedd complains that he needs to stop and get some food at a tavern. Heh... old people. Fortunately Richard spots a persimmon for him to eat. Unfortunately, the persimmon is cursed. Zedd begins forgetting everything and after knocking out Richard, runs off to a local brothel. After some magic tricks to create some coins he goes after a particular lady of the evening.

Before the fun is about to start Cara arrives. However, before she grabs Zedd, Shota transports him to her cavern. She tries to convince him to name a new Seeker and take over the world together. Shota transforms him into a young man. She then tells him to get the Sword of Truth from Richard. Meanwhile, Richard and Kahlan kill a shadrin and get attacked by some local soldiers working for some corrupt lord. Zedd and Shota manage to steal the compass and Sword of Truth.

Zedd ditches Shota and comes back to get that prostitute that he's become a fan of. He turns her into a princess and all of her prostitute friends into maidens. Zedd then proceeds to pull up a palace out of the ground. Shota runs into the rest of the gang and lets Richard know that he is prophesied to fail in his quest to defeat the Keeper. She tries to enlist Cara's help but Cara brutally says no and takes her prisoner.

Meanwhile Zedd has fashioned himself a king. He is told of the problems that the Keeper has been causing. Zedd then proceeds to name himself a Seeker since he cannot trust Richard with the responsibility as he is prophesied to fail. The local evil lord comes to the castle, and is promptly killed by Zedd's Wizard's Fire. He is sent back to the underworld and is returned to life by Darken Rahl. He then proceeds to snipe Zedd's princess with a crossbow.

Salindra, the newly dead princess/prostitute, is convinced by Darken Rahl to help the Keeper by trying to bring Zedd, the Sword of Truth, and the compass to the underworld. Zedd continues to try to revive her and she implausibly revives even after turning cold. She then convinces him using the old Br'er Patch argument to go into the underworld and fight the Keeper. Realizing that Zedd will kill them all if they attempt to recover him, Shota and the gang decides that Richard will try to talk to him.

That does not work. Zedd casts a spell on Richard freezing him in place and causing Kahlan and Cara to emerge. Zedd heads into the rift to the underworld. Once inside the rift, Zedd begins turning old. Freed from his spell by Shota, Richard follows Zedd into the rift telling Kahlan to stay out because someone has to. Richard gets real old in the rift as well. Rahl tries to stop them both as he has been given dominion over the gates of the underworld. He fails miserably for no reason.

Richard drags Zedd out of the underworld. Salindra dies from not being able to keep her side of the bargain. Cara forces Shota to break the spell. She then offers to kill Shota but old Richard claims that they might need her later. Zedd then transforms Richard into his youthful body. He reconfirms his belief that Richard is the only true Seeker and only he can succeed.

Commentary: A pretty standard memory loss episode. Except this one was totally awesome because it was Zedd who lost his memory. You know how we have gotten some creepy hints about Zedd's previous life time after time? Well it turns out the guy is kind of a jerk. An objectifying, misogynistic, self-absorbed jerk. Who likes to visit prostitutes. And build castles for himself. And name himself king and take his favorite prostitute as his queen. Alright!

You know who it turns out is completely useless? Darken Rahl. I love how the Keeper made him a gatekeeper for the underworld. He responds by completely failing to trap Richard and Zedd inside. They just walked away at a leisurely pace. You had them right there and you just let them get away. I could just see the Keeper furiously yelling at Rahl telling him to close the rift faster. Rahl would likely respond that he could do the job fast or do the job right.

First of all the prostitute that Zedd chose really was pretty. There was something pretty sweet about Darken Rahl just completely tearing her down while in the underworld. Of course she agrees and then is completely transparent about her intentions to betray Zedd. So apparently losing your memory also causes you to be blind towards people blatantly lying to you. I love that there was another prostitute who was all nice to Zedd. He repaid that kindness with likely leaving them forever.

Cara was pretty awesome in this episode. She immediately tracked Zedd down to a brothel. Her imperviousness towards magic really makes her an asset when dealing with the likes of Shota. It was also great that Zedd took my advice to completely ignoring Shota's so called "advice." He correctly assumes that he should not trust her as listening to her would mean that they would give the Sword of Truth to a person that Shota presents. Seems like a recipe for disaster. Of course that was smart Zedd and not young Zedd.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 2 out of 10.

Just a standard stay here while I go into a dangerous place without you speech from Richard. Nothing else really.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 9 out of 10.

I would give the full 10 but I don't know if it counts if he has a spell put on him. The points don't mean anything anyways so I think it is a fair grade. But c'mon. Eating the persimmons with juice dripping down his chin. Immediately heading to a brothel after losing his memory. Turning some guy into a mouse. Declaring himself king. Burning the lord instantly. So so sooooooo creepy.

Notable Quotes:

Shota: "You are the great love of my life, Zeddicus."
Zedd: "I'm not surprised."

Zedd: "As wizard of the first order I hearby name as Seeker of Truth and bearer of the Sword, Zeddicus Zul Zorander."

Darken Rahl: "They're all nice fellows to you... as long as they have a little gold in their pockets! On the other hand you're welcome to stay here with us in the underworld. The Keeper keeps a very special chamber of torment, for those that traffic in love"

Richard: "If Zedd and I don't come back someone needs to stay alive to find the stone. Kahlan this quest is bigger than any of us. Don't follow me."

Zedd: "You were always the Seeker, long before you first held the Sword of Truth. You faced death for me, literally."

Editor's Note: Have your own favorite quote from the episode? Did we forget to mention your favorite moment and now you're angry? Leave it in the comments and we'll update with the best of. Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.

We Will Be Back Soon

Yeah so real life got in the way of my blogging. Holidays, bad weather causing me to be sick, final exam and other non-blogging related activities. Posting might be a bit irregular in the next week or two. I'm going to do my best to catch up though. Stay tuned.

Legend of the Weeker: Touched

Plot Synopsis: The episode finds our heroes finding a night wisp. You might remember them from the series premiere. Kahlan asks for help finding any remaining confessors. One comes across a girl who apparently has a domineering father who won't let her travel or get married and locks her in a castle tower. Odd.

The gang decides to split up. Always a good idea. Kahlan and Richard will go with Flynn to find this confessor and Zedd takes Cara to Pemorah. Richard and Kahlan get to the castle only to learn that her servant poisoned her father and stole the confessor away. Apparently the father was confessed and taken as a mate with the confessor giving birth to this girl. Once the confessor died, the father locked her away in the tower. Meanwhile the servants try to sell her to some bandits who begin draining her power. With a droplet of it, the lead bandit confesses one of the servants and has him kill the other one.

Richard and Kahlan manage to rescue the girl, whose name is Annabelle, with an assist by Flynn. He gets confessed by her for his troubles. Kahlan explains her powers to her, and the fact that her father was killed. They plan to take her to get trained as a confessor. Flynn manages to become even more annoying. Zedd and Cara make it to Pemorah and are told that they need the person with the rune to get the Stone of Tears.

Kahlan continues to tell Annabelle about the whole last of the confessors bit. They also talk about romance. It... err... doesn't work out too well. Flynn tricks Richard and Kahlan and takes the horses. To do this Flynn stabs himself. Then he gets to hang out and do stuff with Annabelle. He even tries to go back to meet Richard and Kahlan with the rune. Annabelle refuses and then confesses another guy. Or six.

Cara and Zedd attack the tomb and Zedd burns all the banelings. They head back to meet Richard and Kahlan. Annabelle then confesses Richard because she is a brat. Yeah that won't last too long. Kahlan tries to kill her but Richard stops her. Then Kahlan convinces the two to come to Pemorah. Zedd traps Richard and Flynn. Before they kill Annabelle they decide to try to use that sorcerer's draining crystal.

The gang grabs a locket from the tomb in Pemorah. Not knowing what it does, Kahlan and Cara head out to grab the sorcerer's crystal. They trick the sorcerer by pretending Kahlan is Cara's prisoner. Kahlan manages to confess the sorcerer and get the stone. Annabelle then suggests that Kahlan should... ahem... mate with Richard to produce another confessor. While under Annabelle's confession, her power would have no effect. They actually go through with this and start making out...

Heavily...

This gets slightly PG-13. Of course right before they are about to get down to it, Kahlan stops him because realizes that Richard is only doing this because Annabelle told him to. This whole show is like an awkward date. They then use the crystal to drain Annabelle of her power. Everyone turns out okay. Flynn decides to take off with Annabelle towards the ocean. Richard opens the locket and finds what appears to be a compass inside which is to lead his way... North!

Commentary: Can we please not have any more weird kids inducing complete awkwardness between Richard and Kahlan. It feels like half the episodes have this story line. We saw it in Listener, we saw it in Elixir,we saw it in Cursed. It's always a magical kid. Always making naive remarks that are incredibly apt to Richard and Kahlan's relationship. Not to mention the fact that Annabelle managed to make Flynn even more insufferable. Thank heavens he is gone!

All in all, the episode was in a lot of the places at once. Thank god the Flynn thing was resolved and we don't have to see him any more. It appears from the looks of things Annabelle won't be making a return either. Which is just fine by me. I don't mind them introducing other characters but one dimensional adventure stereotypes just aren't doing it for me. There are cool characters are out there. We need more Shota. Bring back Chase for that matter. Get him across the boundary.

The show this season might be spreading itself a bit too thin. There are too many storylines to keep track of. Last season, Richard was just going along on a quest to kill Darken Rahl and helping those he came across. This season we have the stopping the underworld arc. Richard is also officially the ruler of D'hara and is destined to fail in this quest. Now they have to deal with Kahlan being the last confessor. It makes episodes like this where everyone is everywhere a bit hasty.

On that note, what is the deal with the banelings. Richard came up with the idea that they have to burn the corpses when they kill them. Apparently now Zedd can just burn them right up. That should come in handy. They also need to stock up on some oils for some impromptu flame throwers. I thought the whole Pemorah tomb was a bit too easy to get inside. Seems like the Keeper should have sent more than a few guards. The give and take between Zedd and Cara was pretty priceless though.

Also for no reason... HD Porn!


Kahlan and Richard Romance Index: 8 out of 10.

So close yet so far away. I mean you knew that Kahlan was going to stop him. Kahlan doesn't stop believing in Richard even after he was confessed. Of course, Richard and Kahlan are still madly in love with each other and can't be together or else the whole show would be over. I might have to change this to how close did they come to hooking up index.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 4 out of 10.

Dude loves burning zombie soldiers. Soldier on. I also love him not being willing to use magic when alone with Cara. Come on Zedd you always liked strong women.

Notable Quotes:

Kahlan: "Our gift makes the kind of romance you've read about... impossible"

Zedd: "What's at stake is far too important to rely on probability."
Cara: "I don't believe you have the luxury of caution."

Flynn: "I can't say it's been fun. But it's been interesting."

Richard: "Kahlan, I can understand why you couldn't go through with it. But part of me wishes you had."
Kahlan: "Me too."

Richard: "We head north."

Editor's Note: Have your own favorite quote from the episode? Did we forget to mention your favorite moment and now you're angry? Leave it in the comments and we'll update with the best of. Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.

Legend of the Weeker: Broken

Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with what seems to be a blind girl releasing a raven into the air. It flies over a campground where Richard and Kahlan are sleeping, and transports Kahlan into a freaky world full of white roses that are dying. The creepy girl then lets Kahlan know that soon she will be the last of her kind.

Zedd interprets this as a sign from some desert dreamweaving peoples and Kahlan takes it to mean that soon her sister and the rest of the confessors will die. She begins to head there but is stopped by Cara who tells her that she was killed by her hand. Kahlan begins to go into the Con Dar. Richard holds her back long enough for Cara to run away. Flynn takes off but Zedd has spelled his shoes so they know exactly where he is headed. The gang tracks him with Kahlan temporarily forgetting about Cara but promising to kill her if she ever gets a chance.

Cara takes the opportunity to go to an inn and bed some stranger. The villagers attack her and tell her to leave town. Meanwhile Flynn has taken off his clothes thus shedding the tracking. Cara goes to her sister's place almost taking an arrow to her face. Her sister convinces her to come with her for some food. Cara changes into a dress, with some touching memories thrown in for emotion about their father and memories.

Soldiers burst in the door and take her away. Apparently her brother-in-law... not a trusting guy. The soldiers find Kahlan and ask her to execute Cara. This is how confession works on Mord Sith. Unfortunately Richard is not about to let that happen. They organize a mock trial. Law and Order, Midlands style.

Meanwhile Flynn is just stealing people's purses. He runs into someone who catches him. That guy sees his tattoo and offers to take him to Pemorah, find the Stone of Tears and split the profit. Richard gives an impassioned plea for Cara's life with Grace, Cara's sister, telling the story of when she was taken. She tells about her father and Cara bursts out with how she killed him. Someone get this girl a copy of the 5th amendment.

In the chambers Richard and Kahlan argue whether or not. Richard continues to tell the townspeople about Mord Sith training with Cara's help. Cara talks about how she felt that her father betrayed her and that was why she killed him. As Richard verbally parles with Cara her schoolteacher stands up and stands up for her. Kahlan instantly picks her up as a Mord Sith.

The townspeople order both the Mord Sith killed by confession much to Richard's dismay. The guy with Flynn starts to get annoyed with him and puts a paralyzing elixir in his drink and threatens to cut off his hand. Of course it was Zedd all along and he teaches him a lesson. Kahlan confesses the schoolteacher Mord Sith who instantly confesses that she tortured her father who never broke under the torture. They burned her father's throat causing Cara to believe that her father betrayed her. Kahlan refuses to confess her.

The townspeople then attack the gang with Richard killing several of them! One holds Kahlan and crossbow point threatening to kill her if she doesn't confess Cara. Richard frees Cara who kicks the crossbow out of the guy's hand. Richard and Kahlan send Cara away and have a heart to heart about her and the fear that Kahlan could be the last of the confessors. Flynn and Zedd meet up with Kahlan and Richard. Meanwhile as Cara leaves her sister, she walks outside and sees the gang standing there. Kahlan tells her that she needs her to come with the gang because if something were to happen to her, then the Seeker would need protection.

Commentary: Well we haven't had en episode like this before. I feel like the whole courtroom thing has been done before in other shows. The plot feels a bit like a TV trope. Though I guess with Kahlan's role as Mother Confessor it is to be expected. What I don't get is why the townspeople couldn't accept her rule. Isn't that the whole point of the Mother Confessor? If they want an executioner, did they really need Kahlan for it? Isn't asking her, just begging to come out disappointed?

Speaking of people not knowing their roles, what was with the
townspeople attacking Richard. Did they not know that he just almost singlehandedly took down the D'haran army. Then I thought they would be playing the Batman style of fighting where they don't kill people. Nope. Richard was just straight up running people through with the Sword of Truth. Even when the guy pointed that crossbow, at Kahlan I wasn't too worried because Richard always has that Jedi bullet time skill to stop shots with his sword.

A very Kahlan-centric episode. She brought back the Con Dar to try to kill Cara with it. So... hey there... that's a reasonable reaction. She then has her biggest conflict with Richard since the Denna episode. It seems like the Mord Sith bring out the worst in her. Then of course by the end of courtroom scene she realizes that Richard was right all along just as he has been in almost all situations they have been involved in. At some point I just want Richard to ask her if she ever gets tired of being wrong. Personally, I liked that they kept the gang together at the end of the episode.

Well for the most part. I cannot stand the Flynn kid. He needs to be destroyed. I was prepared to write a scathing blog post about how terrible he is but he prevented me from doing so with his late line about how Zedd's powers are irregular. I wrote about that last week. Get out of my head Flynn! But basically it just held off my wrath for another week. Shake my fist at you Flynn.

Also I thought that the whole Kahlan as a last confessor came out of nowhere. Why did they move all the confessors to an island and then kill them off like they were redshirts? It was almost as if it was an afterthought. Additionally, the whole plot of Sacrifice from last season fell by the wayside. Though it does solve the male confessor paradox that my roommate hated last year. P.S. Dreamweaving blind girl = Creepy.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 4 out of 10.

I can't just give points because they admit they love each other. They already reached that point in their relationship. What are they doing to advance their relationship? They did argue like an established couple. And of course Kahlan put her vengeance aside for a bit to make sure that Richard would be safe in case she died. Richard returned the favor by once again assuring her that he would never let anything happen to her.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 6 out of 10.

The guy has some very creepy tendencies. He tracks the annoying guy by enchanting his shoes. He also busts out the switcheroo mirror again. Although it was pretty clear it was him. And did anyone else notice that he threatened to chop off Flynn's manhood? Creepy.

Notable Quotes:

Townsperson: "And if the elders still want her dead?"
Kahlan: "Then I will carry out their wishes."

Townsperson: "Will the Mother Confessor abide by the wishes of our elders?"
Kahlan: "I will."

Richard: "The word of the Mother Confessor is final!"

Kahlan: "If I die, the line of Confessors could perish... forever."
Richard: "I'm not going to let anything happen to you... ever."

Flynn: "Don't get offended. All I'm saying is sometimes your powers seem a little... irregular."

Editor's Note: Have your own favorite quote from the episode? Did we forget to mention your favorite moment and now you're angry? Leave it in the comments and we'll update with the best of. Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.

Inside Zedd's Robes: Posting Quota Edition

Blog News: I downloaded a new blog editor which I should be able to use to get faster and newer posts up. However I do expect some hiccups so if anything appears weird, either shoot me an email or leave something in the comments.

I also hope to get some guest posters from IMP and DharanSoldier. Look for those in the coming weeks.

Cool Stuff on the Interwebs: Craig Horner and Bridget Regan did a slew of interviews to promote the new season. I can't post them all here but most of them are very similar. They love the show, love New Zealand, love the story, and stay tuned to see what happens. I will post the interview from G4's hit Attack of the Show because I watch this show a lot. (read: I am a nerd)

Game Trailers - E3 2010 - Movies and TV

Generally good stuff. Also Ted Raimi, who you may remember from his role in Bounty as the mapmaker returns to the show. He also has a twitter page devoted to Legend of the Seeker. Pretty interesting to hear his thoughts (read his tweets?) about the show.

Upcoming Events: There's a new episode this weekend. TV Guide has the following blurb about the show:

Cara goes on trial for past crimes, and finds her fate in Kahlen's (sic) hands.

I guess the whole Cara vs. Kahlan thing is coming to a head. What I wonder is whether Kahlan will ever be able to trust Cara or are they going to with this distrust dynamic for a long while?

Moments in Bruce Spence's Career: Already referenced but I turn to Halfway Across the Galaxy and Turn Left for one of Mr. Spence's most terrifying roles:

Let that burn into your mind for this week. You watched it. You can't unwatch it. Hope to get the recap Monday night again. See you then.

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Legend of the Weeker: Baneling

Plot Synopsis: We find our heroes in a gorgeous clearing with Kahlan and Zedd talking about how they distrust Cara. Richard meanwhile is checking his mark out in a reflection in his sword. Kahlan comes over and tries to to comfort him, which like, whoa. They trek to the abbey to try to find the abbott that knows where the Stone of Tears is. However, they find the abbey destroyed with no sign of the monks. Cara suggests that they were taken to a death camp.

The D'harans are busy killing prisoners for no reason. The gang rushes in and a battle breaks out. Kahlan confess one of the soldiers while Richard throws his sword and kills the commanding general. They free the children and a mother is reunited with her son. The second in command tells him that the abbott has been executed. Richard buries the bodies of the D'harans and the general nicknamed the General is transported to the underworld to chill with Darken Rahl.

Kahlan and Cara tell the villagers to either hang out or head home. The mother from earlier asks about a town in which her father lived. Cara tells her that the Dragon Corps has destroyed that town and Kahlan scolds her for not being more compassionate. It is also determined there isn't enough food to eat so Cara sets out to get provisions. She also gives a horse to a guy asking to bury his brother out in the country and attempts com-pas-sion. Doesn't work.

A monk from the abbott's order meets Richard and is told of the tear in the veil. He tells that the abbott kept a locket which would have been stored with the looted treasure from the D'harans. They go to check on the treasure and find the one guys dead brother instead. Apparently the guy peaced out with the treasure. Kahlan and Cara argue about whose fault it was and are interrupted when the monk finds a bunch of dead bodies who apparently were killed by the dead general.

They hide all the people inside the prison. Richard sets Cara out to find the dude who stole the treasure. Richard and Zedd check on the Butcher's grave and find him and all the D'harans dug up. The abbott they were looking for finds them. He was apparently in the underworld and now has become a baneling for the Keeper. He must kill in order to stay in the world and they decide to kill some D'harans. Unfortunately they are already dead.

The abbott who is unable to kill then dies. Again. Cara finds the kid trying to hook up with two girls. She starts to seduce with some conveniently muffled out phrases. She brings him to Richard, who sees the rune and they decide to take him with them after dealing with the undead soldiers. Unfortunately he is killed by that mother from earlier. He too is approached in the underworld by Darken Rahl but is resurrected by Cara's Breath of Life.

He tells who killed him and then they lock the mother up in a cage. Meanwhile the baneling soldiers are told to get the kid with the rune on his hand. They attack the camp. Kahlan and the prisoners escape out a hole that Zedd makes in a wall. When the soldiers run in, Richard blows the camp up after the obligatory one liner killing all the soldiers inside. The mother's kid runs off with the monk while the creepy dude tries to hit on Cara. Doesn't work. As Richard gives an inspirational speech, it is shown that the kid was a baneling who kills the monk.

Commentary: Another mystery type episode with a bunch of other stuff thrown in. Kahlan and Zedd still don't trust Cara while Richard does. The Keeper is making things really difficult for Richard because now he has to think before he just runs in swords blazing. It was pretty exciting and the first time I watched it, I couldn't really guess who the actual killer was. Though it makes sense in retrospect. The kid being a baneling caught me completely off guard.

The Kahlan and Cara dynamic seems a bit forced. In fact there was a lot of weird switching in the pacing of the show. There was a bit of mystery as to who was murdering the D'harans. Also the end of the episode was like watching an action blockbuster complete with ridiculous lines and slow motion escapes from explosions. The whole adventure seemed like it was rapidly getting out of control. Whatever are Richard and friends going to do?

It seems Richard is getting quite aggressive in his leadership role. He thinks nothing of killing the prisoners to get some directions. Not long before this, Kahlan makes the claim that these people need to be brought to justice and not killed vigilante style. Apparently though when Richard needs to find the Stone of Tears then it's anything goes. The morality issues that arise from Cara being a part of the gang might be rubbing off on Richard.

Speaking of Cara rubbing off on people, do we really have to put up with the hand map guy? His awkward hitting on Cara was wince-inducing. The fights between Cara and Kahlan were pretty good though as it is interesting to see Kahlan out of her element. Plus she is definitely going alpha female with Richard.

I know I have said it before but the New Zealand landscape is definitely one of the best supporting actors in this show. The producers have added plenty of shots of riding through the New Zealand country side which is pure HD porn. Even when the action isn't great it always provides something nice to look at.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 4 out of 10.

I mean Kahlan had to check several times on that scar that Richard got from Darken Rahl. While these moments had some clear sexual tension, it was also slightly awkward. I also loved Richard THROWING the Sword of Truth to prevent Kahlan from getting nicked in battle.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 5 out of 10.

How many powers does the guy have that he didn't use last season. If I was Richard I would be so mad. I mean he has already used two powers that he really didn't bust out last year. Plus he set corpses on fire.

Notable Quotes:

Kahlan: "The spirit of the tyrant that you killed comes back from the grave and burns the mark of the Keeper on your chest. It's not nothing Richard. I wish I knew what it meant."
Richard: "What we do know is that we need to seal the rift between this world and the underworld... and to do that we need to find the Stone of Tears."

Darken Rahl: "You've served me well in life general. It is my hope that you will do the same for the Keeper now that you're dead."

Richard: "Did you see who did this?"
Monk: "It was the butcher. He's come back from the grave."

Richard: "Welcome back to Talthrane." EXPLOSIONS!!!

Richard: "If we have to kill to save an innocent life we'll do it. No matter how many souls the Keeper claims... As long as there are even a few people left to create life... And as long as people are willing to protect that life... The Keeper can't win.

Editor's Note: Have your own favorite quote from the episode? Did we forget to mention your favorite moment and now you're angry? Leave it in the comments and we'll update with the best of. Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.

Legend of the Weeker: Marked

AND WE'RE BACK!!!!

Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with a statue of Darken Rahl being pulled down like Dzerzhinsky in the Lubyanka Square. Rachel, from the Puppeteer episode and her legal guardian are there to see it. Meanwhile Darken Rahl is hanging out in the underworld all naked and stuff. Apparently the Keeper had a plan all along and now plans to use the death of Darken Rahl to take over the world.

Meanwhile the gang hangs out in a hall eating food and listening to songs about the Seeker. Rachel, somehow there as well, comes over to harass Richard and Kahlan about not being able to get married. Zedd distracts her by making a popsicle out of his cider just as a creature comes through the window and attacks, beheading a random dude. Richard distracts it, and rides out into the woods somehow procuring a horse nearly instantly. He then taunts the monster until it charges at him hurling itself off of a cliff that he was standing on. Richard then watches it walk away unhurt from the fall.

In the tower of the Mord Sith, Cara of the season one finale bathes with her Mord Sith pals. Sexy. Another Mord Sith, Triana tells her that they must go to the People's Palace to find out who is the new Lord Rahl. Cara instead suggests that they organize and police the territories. Triana challenges her authority and this is met by a friendly smack across the face and near drowning.

Richard, Kahlan and Zedd track the creature from earlier and find a crack to the underworld. Apparently, the Power of Orden that Richard used to kill Darken Rahl ripped the veil to the underworld. Richard swears to find the Stone of Tears and repair the veil. Just then D'haran soldiers come to the town and swear their allegiance to the Seeker calling him Master Rahl. He tells the story of Darken Rahl's father, who upon seeing how evil little Darken turned out to be, learned of a prophecy of Darken Rahl's brother killing him.

Apparently he seduced Zedd's daughter by pretending to be a male Abercrombie & Fitch model or a shepherd or something. They then made a baby. Upon this he made fun of Darken Rahl causing him to kill Panis and set Richard's humble beginnings in motion. All the while Cara makes out with Triana in a show of dominance. While Triana scrubs the floor, a vision of Darken Rahl appears telling her to tell Triana to kill Cara and start a special task.

Richard acts all big and tells Zedd to search for clues in finding the Stone of Tears. He tells Kahlan to defend the town. Richard then leads the D'harans to hunt the screeling and announces intentions to claim the throne of D'hara, rejecting a notion that he must kill his men to make people fear him. The Mord Sith attack Cara and cut off her hair leaving her to the screeling. Kahlan boards up the doors to a hall as the remaining Mord Sith attack.

As Richard tracks the screeling, the commander of the one battalion that he commands is killed by the resistance. Wary of the D'harans they almost come to blows as warning bells are heard from the town. They head back where Richard learns that seven girls were taken by the Mord Sith including Rachel. Richard plans to lead the D'harans against the Mord Sith as a D'haran threatens him. Richard slaps him down as the rest of his men pledge their allegiance.

They find Cara lying in the gutter. Kahlan goes to confess her but Richard stops her. Triana calls a friend and tells him of the Seeker's batallion. Richard forms a plan to extract the girls from the cave, but it will likely involve his men dying. Zedd meanwhile meets up with Shota who tells him that Richard Rahl is prophesized to fail in his quest against the Keeper. Three omens will foretell this. She tells him to name him a new Seeker or the Keeper will win blah blah blah...

Richard's men are trapped in a canyon without him as Kahlan and Cara climb into a canyon distrustful of one another. As the D'harans are losing, Richard and the resistance charge up and take control of the battle. Kahlan and Cara free the girls and then Cara kills Triana. There is a reunion in the town and just as Zedd is about to tell the gang what he knows, the screeling reappears. Richard taunts it again causing it to fall into a fountain upon which Zedd freezes it.

They decide to head to the Abbott to find the Stone of Tears. Richard decides not to claim the throne. The plan is to send Kahlan off to the Mother Confessor throne while Cara appears and pledges her loyalty to Richard. Before they get to Aydindril, Kahlan seeing that Richard and Cara are getting awfully cozy decides that they will head to get the Stone of Tears together. As Richard is sitting by the fire, Darken Rahl appears and tells Richard to quit his quest. He grabs Richard and marks him on the chest fulfilling the omens that Shota suggested will foretell of his failure to defeat the Keeper.

Commentary: Sorry for the length but there was a lot of exposition in this episode. We got to see that peace will not come easy in the new Midlands. Some in the D'haran military just want to serve Lord Rahl, while others don't buy fighting for the Seeker. To make matters worse, apparently some guy named the Keeper has had a plan all along. Now Richard will have to fight off the Keeper and try to keep the peace in the Midlands. Except the prophecy foretells that he's not the one that can do this. Oh noes!

There was a whole lot of smacking around going around in this episode. I may be hazy in my recollection but is this the way things have gotten done in this universe? I half-expected Richard to haul off and smack Kahlan sometime in the third act. What's worse is after all the posturing, Richard refuses to take the throne of D'hara. This seems a little hypocritical. So it was okay for Richard to kill off half of that loyal D'haran battalion in his mission, but he can't claim the whole pie. Slippery slope Richard.

How many things can go wrong for Richard to start the season? I guess the guy just can't catch a break. I was a little interested in why we are listening to Shota. Has anything she said ever come true? She was wrong when she first appeared, wrong about Kahlan betraying Richard, etc. At this point, they should probably give her the same kind of credence, that I give to the crazy guy on the street that I pass on the way to work that tells me all about the crazy pigeon conspiracy. I just say that I take it under advisement. Seems to me Richard is doing just fine, but that's just this humble blogger's opinion.

It was great to see Kahlan get all catty because Richard wants to hang out with Cara. Time to start employing those convenient waterfall showers, Kahlan. I didn't really buy the Mord Sith conspiracy. The whole Triana character just didn't do it for me. At first she challenges Cara, then doesn't, then listens to Darken Rahl's water ghost and does again. Finally, she refuses to kill Cara when Darken Rahl specifically told her to. This comes back to bite her and she meets an unspectacular death. It was also a waste of Charisma Carpenter whom I wanted to see more of.

A couple of shots of beautiful New Zealand that we HD-Pornoriffic. I also noticed some new music that they definitely went for. I guess the Emmy award money can come in handy.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 2 out of 10.

Nothing really happened to advance their relationship. A couple of glances towards Richard I guess. There was also the wince-inducing conversation with Rachel about marriage. What kid asks that? Kahlan's cattiness didn't work either. Was she seriously planning to confess Cara for no reason?

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 4 out of 10.

Zedd also has a freezing power. Thanks for using that last year Zedd. Though I can't really think of when it would have come in useful but I'm sure they could have found a time. His creepy tryst with Shota came up again. Also I love how indignant he got that his daughter might have been with Panis Rahl. We've met a bunch of weirdos that he's gotten with. Like father like daughter.

Notable Quotes:

Richard: "This happened when I killed Rahl. When the Boxes of Orden exploded."
Zedd: "Wizard's Second Rule: The greatest harm can come from the best intentions."

Richard: "Darken Rahl is dead. The war is over. Lay down your arms or you will feel my sword."
D'haran Commander: "We have not come to fight my lord. Master Rahl guide us. Master Rahl protect us. In your light we thrive. In your wisdom we are humbled. We live only to serve. Our lives are yours."

Shota: "We're all relying on the Seeker. But not Richard Rahl. It is written in the halls of Prophecy that Richard Rahl will fail in his quest to defeat the Keeper."

Cara: "If you're foolish enough to turn down the throne of D'hara, then you need me all the more."

Richard:"What about Aydindril?"
Kahlan: "I'll get there... When all this is over... But as long as you're still the Seeker... you need your confessor by your side. "

Editor's Note: Have your own favorite quote from the episode? Did we forget to mention your favorite moment and now you're angry? Leave it in the comments and we'll update with the best of. Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.