Legend of the Weeker: Eternity

Editor's Note: As in "It has been an eternity since I posted." Ta-dum-tish. I have been traveling the world and got back not too long ago. I am doing these episodes in the order I am watching them so try to avoid spoilers in the comments. Yes I am that dedicated that I am not watching the finale until I can blog about the two previous episodes. I really am going to try to catch up but I have no idea how long that will take. Also I am going to stop doing Notable Quotes. They take forever. If you want you can post yours in the comments and I will add them. User generated content people!!!!

Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with Richard and Cara trapping a Mord Sith who was following the gang. She tells Cara that her son is in danger. A son fathered by Darken Rahl. Apparently this was an honor and the sons were taken to be raised by the Dragon Corps as soldiers. The palace where this was taking place was raided and the boy taken by the Sisters of the Dark. Richard sends Zedd with Cara to get the kid back, while Kahlan and him will continue in search of the Stone of Tears. Splitting up always works so well for these guys, why wouldn't it work now.

We then cut to a guy delivering some groan-worthy lines to a pretty lady. Unfortunately when he tries to touch her, he passes right through her. Hearing a noise she takes off her ring causing him to disappear. A man approaches her and tells her that the Seeker is getting close. In reality, Richard and Kahlan come to a cliffside. The compass tells them to go through it and so they enter a hidden cave through the cliffside.

Kahlan and her Mord Sitth friends are talking about Zedd snoring and their quests when all of the sudden they start to make out. Odd.

Meanwhile, Richard and Kahlan set up a cute camp in the hidden cave. They talk about how nice it is to be alone together. They have a romantic talk about imaginary children. They also start making out. Kahlan also confesses that she is having difficulty keeping apart from Richard when they are alone.

Cara and her little Mord Sith friend talk about running away from their respective duties but decide that it probably wouldn't work out. Richard and Kahlan make their way through the cave and come out of another secret fake cave wall. They emerge in a utopian place complete with crazy sun temple and a bunch of good looking people greeting him. They tell him that they have been waiting for him and show him the Stone of Tears.

Then they tell him a story about how these guys waited thousands of years to give him the Stone. Apparently the Stone is magical. They also tell them that they cannot leave. These guys also tell them that they are destined to repopulate the world after it is destroyed. Richard tells them that he is leaving. They say that they will not stop them but pray for the Creator to help them. They also cannot leave.

Cara is betrayed by her friend and a bunch of Mord Sith attack her. She then wakes up chained up by Darken Rahl Sucky. He tells her that Zedd is alive but her son died the day he was born. He starts to train her again. Cara's friend gives some food to Zedd and then starts to train Cara herself. She also talks to Cara about their memories together. Unfortunately Cara is not impressed and head butts her.

Meanwhile Kahlan and Richard climb a cliff to get out of their crazy valley. As they reach the top, Kahlan slips and falls. Richard reaches the top but then ends up at the bottom. They realize they are trapped. They go back to the guardians but they just start praying nonsense.

Darken Rahl has troubles breaking Cara but then the Sisters of the Dark show up and he strikes a bargain with them. They cast a spell on the agiel that Darken Rahl is using to make it more powerful. She begins to get hurt by it.

Richard and Kahlan talk about actually going through with the plans of the crazy religious nuts to repopulate the world. Some girl approaches them to give them some fruit. She unwittingly drops some knowledge that only someone who recently lived in the real world would know. The girl tells them that she has a magical ring that allows her to communicate with the outside world. They use the ring to talk to the girl's friend and tell him to find Zedd.

Darken Rahl completes Cara's training and tells her to kill Zedd. She decides not to and attacks Darken Rahl instead. She kicks Darken Rahl a couple of times for good measure. Zedd saves the kid from a couple of bandits and communicates with Richard. They can't break Kahlan and Richard out but decide to try to transport the Stone of Tears out.

They get it out but Cara attacks Zedd and takes it. The compass begins working again so they use it to get out of the valley, reuniting the two lovers and what remains of the gang. Cara brings the Stone of Tears to Darken Rahl. Fantastic.

Commentary: Well isn't that just terrible. They finally get the Stone of Tears, which as I have put it before seems like it took the better half of an afternoon. Then they go and just give it all to Darken Rahl. Also have we determined if this is all bad? Doesn't he want to close the rift anyways so he doesn't end up in the Underworld again? He does a lot of wheeling and dealing but it doesn't sound like he really wants the world to end.

I can't really say that I enjoyed this episode. It seems like the leader of the Stone of Tears cult was laughably bad. His commentary kind of made me want Richard to run him through with the Sword of Truth. I also didn't really like Richard and Kahlan's interactions in this episode. It all seemed kind of juvenile, like teenagers making out in the car and trying to decide whether to go all the way. It was also a stretch that Richard might suggest that they go along with the crazy religious folks' plan. Do you not know anything about genetics man?

Now the whole Cara being trained by Darken Rahl was a mixed bag. First of all since when does Darken Rahl know how to train people. I feel like that was just retrofitted into the story. It was also a bit tired. Haven't we already been here. However, I kind of liked Darken Rahl's decision to go to the Sisters of the Dark to ask for help. Thinking outside the box there. The betrayal at the end also really surprised me. I don't know of it is a condemnation for the fact that most of the time the show is pretty cookie cutter, or praise for a worthy twist. But there you have it.

I'm not sure where they are going with the Cara is a lesbian thing. Once again some consistency would be nice. We had hints of Cara's lifestyle in the beginning of the season. Then we were silent on the topic matter. A bunch of readers suggested that there were feelings that Cara was feeling towards Kahlan in the Desecrated episode. Then we get to a point where she has a hidden girlfriend. I feel like there is some good material there but the writers can't figure out a way to mesh it into a consistent story.

Richard and Kahlan's Romance Index: 7 out of 10.

It was mushy but they really had some romantic moments. The time in the cave could have been great and maybe it did show off the difficulty of their situation. Their talk about their kid being strong enough to fight off Cara's and Darken Rahl's kid was interesting. I also really liked Kahlan's harsh reaction to the one girl's commentary about difficult it was to be with someone and not be able to touch them.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 3 out of 10.

He seemed very sure of himself when trying to convince Cara not to kill him. Also when he lost the Stone he was kind of overly hard on himself. But nothing too creepy.

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Legend of the Weeker: Walter

Editor's Note: No pictures or quotes for this one. Maybe I will post some later if I have time. I am going on vacation next week and I want to be at least somewhat caught up. You all come here for the biting commentary anyways right? Right? It probably doesn't matter, pretty soon this will become a blog about a raccoon that lives in the White House and advises Obama. What else am I going to do with the hopehasawarrior.com domain?



Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with a Sister of the Dark summoning Darken Rahl. She shows him the scroll that she stole from Richard last episode. He tells her to take the scroll to the temple of the Mord Sith and hand the scroll to him. How? Mystery. Meanwhile Richard and the gang stop at a tavern to get some food. The tavern keeper is very nice to the gang but there are two guys who prefer the order and rule of the good old days when Darken Rahl was in power. One tells a story of a guy who used to parody Darken Rahl because of an uncanny likeness to him.

Apparently, the one guy was a D'haran captain brought him to Darken Rahl to act as a decoy. They convinced Darken Rahl to keep him on after some torture and training. The guy, whose name was Walter, acted for a while as Darken Rahl and the captain was his friend. They narrowly escaped when the palace of D'hara fell and lost track of each other. The captain then found Walter in the same tavern. They made a plan to rob the Mord Sith using their ruse.

At first they convinced the Mord Sith to give them the treasure. The captain also asked for a bath and dinner, while Walter found a fancy with one of the slave girls. Urrgh. Walter convinces the Mord Sith to hang out with the captain and they then get the treasure and load it on a wagon. They nearly escape to a boat to the south, but are stopped by Darken Rahl's trusted advisor who knows about the ruse.

They attack each other and Walter is discovered. Just as they are about to kill him, Darken Rahl appears and orders them not to kill Walter as he may still be useful. His advisor and the Mord Sith take Walter to the Mord Sith dungeon as the captain finishes the tale at the bar. We then find Walter sitting in the dungeon.

Richard and the gang are attacked by Sisters of the Dark and their slowly flying dacras. They slay another dozen of them as one finally manages to hit Zedd with one. She is too busy standing around and gets confessed by Kahlan. All the while the Sister that had the scroll arrives at the palace and summons Darken Rahl. He says that it is time for Walter to die. The slave girl that Walter was nice to overhears their plan. She poisons Walter's guards and they escape into the countryside.

They run into Richard and the crew. Richard and the gang stop their pursuers. As Zedd burns the bodies, Darken Rahl appears and tries to convince them to kill Walter and reincarnate himself. His collateral is that otherwise he will convince the Sister of the Dark to burn the scroll without which Richard cannot stop the Keeper. They decide to switch Walter's body with one of the mindless and soulless bodies of the D'harans they just killed. I know they aren't really D'harans but it is easier to think of them that way. That way they are not killing Walter.

They switch out the souls and Cara brings back Walter in the soldier's form. Nice job Walter. Darken Rahl is reincarnated in Walter's former body. Welcome back Darken. Just as he is enjoying being alive, the confessed sister stabs him with a dacra. The gang uses this as insurance policy to ensure that Darken Rahl gets the scroll to them. He orders to prepare the treasure and he wants to go to Ravensburg with the treasure and the scroll. Unfortunately for the gang, this was a hidden message to his advisor that he is in danger.

As Darken Rahl hands over the scroll, they contemplate not letting him go. Too bad the archers that the Mord Sith brought kill the sister. Darken Rahl slinks away as a fight breaks out. After making a pretty sweet last stand statement his advisor is burned to death by wizard's fire from GUESS WHO? Walter and his slave girl escape with the treasure and he heads to the bar to hang out with the captain. They are delighted to see each other and head off to their southern paradise. Meanwhile Darken Rahl enjoys an apple and stalking a pretty girl at a market.

Commentary: Alright so they brought back Darken Rahl towards the end of the season. Which makes sense, he is clearly one of the most interesting characters in the show. Also I guess that it isn't that surprising that some of his Mord Sith and loyal D'haran soldiers are still around. Still I can't shake the feeling that he won't be around forever. If I was a writer or producer of this show, and from my nearly stream of consciousness posts you all can tell that this would likely be a disaster for all involved... still IF I was a writer or producer, I would identify who are the cooler enemy characters and keep them around for a while.

It should come as no surprise to anyone with more intelligence than that of a houseplant, that people like to see developed antagonists. Would Star Wars have been better if instead of Darth Vader, Luke and company fought an unseen head of an evil bureaucracy who subcontracted all of his tasks to Jabba the Hutt? I was pretty excited to see Darken Rahl's advisor. Maybe Darken Rahl, him, and some of the Mord Sith could form a bad gang in contrast to Kahlan, Richard, and the rest. Could be interesting right? Wrong. Burned to death in the first fight.

It was a pretty interesting plot twist to have half the episode devoted to how Darken Rahl kept a personal body double. I rather liked the plot line with the guy at the tavern telling the less than courageous story about how he was a captain in the D'haran army. It was nice to see them get back together in the end and head off towards the southern seas. On the other hand, I feel like Richard and the gang didn't have much to do this episode. Once again, they slaughtered another dozen of the Sisters of the Dark like they come in bulk packages from Costco.

I hate to say it but it really seems like they ran out of plot this season. I believe that I have said it before but I think that they could just go get the Stone of Tears any time they want. Last season there was a quest. It was good to cheer for the protagonist who had to overcome incredible odds with the help of the love of his life and some old sage. This season the stakes just aren't the same. They raise the bar with this Keeper that wants to destroy all life, but the quest just doesn't seem as all encompassing. Here's hoping that the end of the season gets better.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 2 out of 10.

No real good moments between the two of them. It would also be nice to get some more movement on the romantic subplot between the two of them. Last season it seemed like every single episode there was some sort of moment between the two of them. Shouldn't they be off trying to find a Rada'han or something? Anything to advance the plot?

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 7 out of 10.

Anytime that Zedd tells you that they have special "magical" means to do something, your gut instinct should be to run far far away. It worked out alright for Walter, but generally his "magical" plans involve creepiness. And fatherless children. Also, I like how Zedd has turned into a hungry flamethrower this season. Always eating and burning things. Why did you have to burn the advisor though? He was so cool.

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Midlands Bulletin: Legend of the Seeker Cancelled

Sad as it is for me to report it looks like after two seasons, Legend of the Seeker has been cancelled. Michael Ausiello from EW.com is reporting that he has multiple sources confirming that the show has been cancelled. Sorry to hear that our friends will not be returning. I am not sure whether the show can end up somewhere like the SyFy channel. Hopefully this ends up being the case but this does not look good at all.

As far as this blog goes, should the worse happen, I will finish recapping all the episodes and then leave the blog as is. As long as Blogger stands, you can come back here and check out old times. Again sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Sad times indeed.

- Misha

Legend of the Weeker: Vengeance

Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with a monk passing away in a winter castle. The other monks worry that he will reveal their location to Darken Rahl. Sure enough Darken Rahl interrogates the old man on the location of his father. Apparently these monks knew all about him. The episode shifts to Thaddicus who is accosted by Darken Rahl. He tells him the location of his father since apparently Panis Rahl has killed Zedd and Thaddicus's father. Thaddicus heads out to convince Zedd to go after him.

He meets up with them using the Mapmaker's cool map. We watch a flashback on how Panis Rahl deceived their father and killed him using a Zedd disguise. Zedd apparently took an oath to kill him with Thaddicus. They head off on a revenge road trip. We then watch a flashback, on how Panis Rahl and young Zedd used to be friends, and how Zedd's father tried to tell him that teaching magic to a Rahl was a bad idea. Zedd didn't listen. Panis later convinced Zedd not to go home to make peace with his father, using some hot princess.

Meanwhile Richard, Kahlan, and Cara run into some old guy, all of whose papers have floated away. He tries to join Richard on his quest since apparently he knows how to use the Stone of Tears. Cara seems suspicious. Apparently this instructive scroll is locked away in a wall and only this guy knows where it is. On top of that snowy mountain, Zedd and Thaddicus kill a bunch of monks. They think they kill Panis but unfortunately it was another monk's disguise. While they are burning bodies, Darken Rahl appears and lets them know where Panis Rahl is. He is disguised as old scholar helping out Richard.

Richard has a nice fireside chat with the guy who we now know is Panis Rahl. Panis tells him that he is proud of him. In the morning Zedd and Thaddicus ride in and try to kill Panis, Richard protects him in the confusion. We then have an Empire like moment of Panis admitting he is Richard's father. Panis tries to convince everyone that he is not a bad guy. Apparently, Panis's baby was cursed by a wizard. He let it die and then had a Mord Sith revive it. That was why he went to Zedd's father dressed as Zedd. Zedd's father had been convinced by Shota's vision of Darken Rahl's patricidal rise to power.

Thus what Panis did was just an act of revenge. He also admits how much he admired Zedd and could not sacrifice his first born son. Panis decided that the way to make everything better was to sire Richard. Nice. Darken Rahl, worried that they might get the instruction scroll gets the Sisters of the Dark to steal the scroll from Richard. He also tells them to kill Panis.

Panis opens the wall and gets the scroll and then gives it to Richard. Panis suggests they kill him, but Zedd stops him to stop all the murdering. Just then the Sisters of the Dark attack. Most of them are slaughtered but the leader manages to get the scroll, and another one throws a dacra at Zedd. Panis steps in its way sacrificing himself. Everyone is really sad as he dies. It's very moving. He goes to the underworld where Darken Rahl forgives him and hugs him. Thaddicus leaves everyone, strangely only saying goodbye to Zedd. Zedd also tells Richard that the greatest sin one can commit is to do the work of the Creator. Zedd apparently cast the fertility spell on Panis. Basically this is all Zedd's fault. Thanks a lot. Richard then gives him some good old fashioned self confidence and they head off on their way.

Commentary: I love how family of the main characters shows up for one episode to get killed. Are there any episodes where a family member shows up and is not murdered? Though I suppose siblings are safe as Thaddicus, Jennsen, and Kahlan's sister are still around. Parents though... Done. We found out that Panis Rahl actually wasn't that bad of a guy. He just made bad decisions. It was clear how killing his own son would be difficult. I love how his resolution was just to have another son. Yeah that will do it. Also it was pretty clear how the scholar was going to be Panis Rahl since the guy playing him was John Rhys-Davies. He was great though. He belongs in a fantasy universe.

Alright my knitpicking with this episode has to do with the Sisters of the Dark. How many of these women are there? Every single episode a dozen of them get destroyed. I thought this was like an exclusive club. Apparently you just sign up in some forest stand in the Midlands and they hand you a dacra and a red dress and let you go fight the Seeker. Also when that one was on the roof above Kahlan, why didn't she just throw her dacra instead of slowly jumping at her allowing Richard a jump save. They also probably want to upgrade those dacras for something that flies faster. How many time is someone going to step in front of one. Maybe just some regular daggers. Or anything that doesn't fly with the velocity of a beach ball.

I liked how they brought Young Zedd back. Did anyone notice whether Panis Rahl was the same actor? The whole flashback thing had a pretty cool continuity feel to it. I feel like when they skip forward or back there is certain disconnect with the present but this felt right on. I also like that we are just not going to talk about how Zedd and Thaddicus slaughtered those innocent monks. Never happened. Panis Rahl was a strong character due in no small part to Rhys-Davies acting chops. I thought the relationship between Zedd and Panis in both the past and the future was very believable. Young Zedd totally would have bailed on his wizard duties to hook up with some princesses. Everyone is having a good time.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 4 out of 10.

They held hands. She uncomfortably smiled when Panis suggested how great it is to save the world with someone you love. Does he have experience here? Bet he never had to deal with the Confessor Conundrum. He probably wouldn't have resisted like Richard. How terrible it must have been for a pretty girl to grow up in D'Hara with Panis and Zedd running around. They didn't have an abstinent role model like Richard. I guess things are better?

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 5 out of 10.

He wasn't outwardly creepy but I just can't get over those poor monks. They had knives Zedd. You burned them to a crisp. All they were doing is serving the Creator in the wintry castle. Now they are rewarded with Darken Rahl's torture in the Underworld. Yeah Zedd... you're a great guy!

Notable Quotes:

Thaddicus: "Please Zedd. While father was being killed, I just stood there like a trembling lamb and did nothing. Don't make me do nothing now."

Panis Rahl: "Zedd is telling the truth. I am a scholar, but I am also Panis Rahl... your father."

Panis Rahl: "I want you to know son, you have been in my heart from the moment I heard the prophecy of your coming."

Darken Rahl: "I forgive you father. Do you forgive me?"

Richard: "All we can do is make the best choices we can... and keep putting one foot in front of the other."

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Legend of the Weeker: Desecrated

Editor's Note: So once again real life has gotten in the way of my blogging. I apologize everyone. I will try to get posts about the episodes I missed to have the whole compilation. Reader's Digest version, I liked Bound and did not like Creator.

Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with Cara complaining about the food or lack thereof to Richard. Kahlan runs up and tells them that Zedd has been attacked by gars in the town. When the gang gets there, it turns out it was all a surprise birthday party for Richard. They town has declared this a day to honor the Seeker. Richard and Kahlan dance. The gang also catches a show from a magician.

The magician does a trick where he makes Kahlan and Cara disappear. He then makes five guys stand up and orders Richard to kill them over the course of a day or else Kahlan and Cara will die. He disappears using some magic dust leaving a journey book to make sure they are still alive. Richard learns that apparently the five guys did not fight in the war while the five sons of the magician all died. It was a lottery to decide the military draft.

They figure out that Kahlan and Cara are in a tomb and try to search them but there are too many tombs. Zedd goes to the magician's house to search for clues. At his house they realize that the magician has gone crazy over the death of his sons. Richard also figures out that the lottery has been rigged so that the five people could not be picked. Kahlan and Cara try to get a message to Richard that their tomb has no marking. However the magician intercepts it and sends them to another tomb. There they unleash a freaking mummy.

The creature is apparently called a Nygax. It is a creature created by a sorcerer to take revenge on someone's enemies. The magician sends it after his victims. I'm going to call it "Revenge Mummy." Kahlan and Cara try to put out the torch which Kahlan tries to do by getting half naked. The duke of the province tries to justify his actions via utilitarianism but everyone is not buying it. They try to set a trap but one guy fled the scene and is attacked by Revenge Mummy. Richard stops him and kills Revenge Mummy. Unfortunately Revenge Mummy consisted of bandages and they take control of Zedd who grabs the dude who tried to escape and heads off.

Revenge Mummy aka Zedd brings the body to the magician and Richard tracks him. Kahlan and Cara complain about the air and talk about Kahlan talks about killing herself and letting Cara bring her back with the breath of life. Cara talks about killing herself. Awkward. The duke's son complains that he was paid for keeping friends safe. Another son is being a jerk but Revenge Mummy Zedd kills him. Richard confronts the magician and tries to convince him to stop the mummy tomb madness. The magician decides to kill himself instead.

Richard finds both books and the wondering dust. He also finds a map of the necropolis and the map for the tomb where Kahlan and Cara are. Meanwhile Kahlan and Cara are talking about their feelings. Everyone is having a good time. They consider each other friends and hug. Aw. Then Cara tries to kill herself and a girl fight starts. The duke now tries to booby trap the palace to kill Revenge Mummy Zedd. Man what an ass. The air in the tomb runs out just as Richard breaks into the tomb.

Richard stops the duke from blowing up Revenge Mummy Zedd. Cara then uses her agiels to free Zedd. Revenge Mummy then takes control of the duke. His son takes off for the crypt to bait Revenge Mummy duke. Richard locks himself in the crypt with the Revenge Mummy duke, the duke's son, and then uses the magic dust to transport himself and the duke's son outside leaving Revenge Mummy duke trapped in the tomb forever. As they walk away Cara tells Kahlan that she actually doesn't mean anything to her. Richard then complains about her poor party planning abilities. Poor Kahlan.

Commentary: Someone had posted earlier that they were upset with the lack of progress with the main mission and I agree to an extent. My problem is with their whole mission in general. First of all it seems like if they actually went through with it, it would not take all too long to find the Stone of Tears. Some episodes they are just about to find it and then you have episodes like this where there is a freaking Revenge Mummy. Additionally, the main problem that the Keeper presents, the banelings, only occur when it is convenient. All this can be explained away by the location of the rifts and the prophecy about Kahlan but I just feel as if the plot last season was more conducive to an epic quest. Then again, I am the person who didn't like Lord of the Rings because I always wondered why they didn't use those giant Eagles to just fly the ring to Mordor. But I digress.

This kind of stuff seems to flow naturally for the show. If it wasn't for the fact that we have forgotten about the Stone of Tears, the plot was a bit of fun. It does seem like a retread of other stories I have read or seen but then again so is pretty much everything in this show. I don't think that anyone watches Legend of the Seeker for new groundbreaking fantasy stories. Episodes like this are campy without being cliche. Plus I am a fan of cross genre adventures. How awesome would Lord of the Rings had been if at one point Frodo had to fight Dracula? Also I like how we are going through standard monsters. We have the mummy and we had the wolfman last season. Who's next? Frankenstein?

Cara admits that she considers Kahlan a good friend. Good I thought that there was some doubt there. I mean they have only been fighting together forever, saving each others lives, and Kahlan even spared Cara's life at one point when she had all the reasons to have her killed. I guess pretty soon we are going to find that Kahlan and Richard have feelings for each other. I suppose we aren't really going to see significant character development but this whole bit felt forced. I do suppose it was important for Cara to admit but I would rather have the development focused on new facets of characters.

I feel like my favorite part of this episode is that apart from the ridiculous Revenge Mummy, there was at least some thinking behind the general theme of the episode. We had to consider the fairness of a draft, the powers of the rich and privileged, and the theory of utilitarianism. Granted these were handled in a rather simple fashion but at least these felt like real characters that may inhabit this world. What was the point of the margrave in Princess? Try to be attractive?

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 6 out of 10.

Despite Kahlan's aforementioned poor party planning abilities, (No cake?) she and Richard shared some tender moments. There was the dancing, the dramatic rescue, and they kiss a lot and act like a couple. Man Richard has the patience of a monk. Mad props.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 4 out of 10.

His body was taken over by the Revenge Mummy. I don't know how many creepy points I can assign for this. Technically it is the Revenge Mummy being creepy. Then again you really couldn't tell. For all I know, the Revenge Mummy had no effect and it was Zedd the whole time. Who knows. Also the points don't matter and I decide he gets 4 points of creepiness.

Notable Quotes:

Cara: "What does it say?"
Kahlan: "You have one day until the sands run out. And when they do, so does your air."
Cara: "You were right... This party is lots of fun."

Richard: "There's only one reason to make some tiles weigh more than the others."
Zedd: "To know which ones not to pick."

Duke: "How can you judge me Wizard? When you learned of the impending massacre at Brennidon, did you save every child that was in danger? Of course not. You saved the most important one. Him!"

Cara: "There's noone a Mord Sith should hate more than a Confessor. I was trained to hate you... but I don't. And I don't want to die without you knowing that I consider you to be my friend."

Kahlan: "I'm sorry you didn't get a night of fun... not even on your birthday."
Richard: "Well you sure know how to throw a party. Can't wait to see what you do next year."

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Legend of the Weeker: Princess

Editor's Note: Sorry this is so late. Will try to catch up in the coming week.

Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with the Sisters of the Dark killing Sister Portia. A Mord Sith then reinvigorates her with the Breath of Life. Sister Nicci takes her place in an underworld switcheroo. Meanwhile as the gang sits around a fire, two gars take Kahlan away. Apparently some rich lord captured her. He is really rich and in his castle, magic has no effect. He declares that he has plans for her and puts her in a cell with his wife.

Sister Nicci summons Darken Rahl and demands an oath of immunity from death for her and her friends. Zedd decides that Cara will take place of a princess that the lord wants to replace his aformentioned dungeoned wife. She has to act like a princess. Meanwhile Richard will act as her brother, and Zedd takes the place of her aunt. She also has to answer every question in poetic verse. It is as painful as it sounds. She completely screws it up when meeting the Margrave. Zedd pretending to be the Duchess tells the lord that Cara is weary.

Meanwhile Kahlan is hanging out with the former Queen in the dungeon. She keeps trying to build up the queen's confidence, but she is completely subservient to the rule of the Margrave. Zedd keeps trying to train Cara, but to no avail. The Margrave's assistant develops a crush on Richard and he uses it to explore the grounds. Richard tries to get in the dungeon but it is locked solidly with the Margrave's key. Zedd tells Richard to seduce the Margrave's sister. Who happens to be quite homely.

Richard is unable to get to the dungeon and then is stopped from hooking up with the sister because the other girl in competition for the Margrave's heart tells on him. Cara recites some poetry about how she tortured and killed a slave and Zedd offers for her to take the Margrave on a hunt. The Margrave offers to spare Richard's life if he promises to marry his sister.

Cara decides to ignore all the rules set for her and kills the Shardrin and eats his raw liver. She decides to seduce the Margrave the old fashioned way. He seems pleased. Later as they are having dinner, Sister Nicci and her friends interrupt the banquet. She gives the Margrave her contract with the Keeper. Kahlan tries to convince the queen to fight back against her captors but she seems hesitant. Cara interrupts the Margrave's meeting with Nicci to get him into the bedchambers. She attacks him but he is able to fend her off.

Just then Nicci discovers Richard and Zedd's ruse about who they are. A fight breaks out and she heads to the dungeon. Kahlan breaks free as well and they kill all of the Sisters save Nicci who decides to jump out the window. They all leave the palace and the former queen comes with them. The Margrave awakens and realized that all the women left and he is alone. Kahlan makes fun of everybody because they look silly. Yay, everyone is having a good time.

Commentary: Ugh. I waited for a while to watch this episode, and it really wasn't that great. The scenes where Cara was trying to recite poetry was wince inducing. The whole Zedd as a woman thing did really not work for me. I mean I guess it would be possible that he could be a women, although not really. There was no way I could believe that someone would fall in love with him. Also the fat princess was a bit cliche. All these things kind of made the show distracting to watch.

Replacing Sister Nicci's character with the blonde who looks like she would be astounded by simple facts was also a bit distracting. She was pretty enough but lacked the gravitas that Jolene Blaylock carried. I understand that acting schedules don't always work out but I wish they would have thought this out earlier. On the other hand, Nicci and her massive powers are now back. I wonder if this means that Richard will one day get all his Han back.

I don't really have a lot to write about in this episode. Short of the return of Sister Nicci, the plot was not advanced in the slightest. It really wasn't clear how the Margrave gained that much power nor did he lose anything short of his pride. A bunch of the Sisters of the Dark were killed. How many of them can there be? It seems like every episode they figure in, a dozen end up dead. They should look into new careers. Plus we got to see Cara wearing something different than her Mord Sith outfit. Nice.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 3 out of 10.

No time for romance when Kahlan is captured by a creepy dude and kept in his inescapable dungeon. Kahlan also took time off from pining for Richard to teach the Margrave's wife how to believe in herself. Richard did take the time to stop his quest to go after her, but then again he has to keep her alive at all costs anyways.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 10 out of 10.

Zedd cross-dressed for the majority of the episode. He also spoke in pentameter. Lastly he pretty much seduced the Margrave's right hand man. Excellent work Zedd. I can't really think of anything he could do that would be creepier than his work in this episode. Zedd has set the bar very high.

Notable Quotes: Zedd's Poetry:

The night was a tumult
of thunder and storm.
But ever since then,
it's been lovely and warm.

If I may request your,
permission to speak,
Oh great one before whom,
the mighty are meek.

When her mother was killed
in a fall from the saddle,
She was raised by her father
on the trail of [UNCLEAR].
Though deficient perhaps
in the making of lace,
She has mastered the arts of
of the hunt and the chase.
The forests of Rothemberg,
so I am told,
Are teeming with Shadrins,
ferocious and bold.
Would it be asking a favor
too terribly blunt,
If I begged you to give us
the thrill of the hunt.

Anyone figure out what Zedd said in the UNCLEAR section above?

Editor's Note: Have your own favorite quote from the episode? Did we forget to mention your favorite moment and now you're angry? Leave it in the comments and we'll update with the best of. Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.

Midlands Bulletin: Outlook grim for third season

Things look grim for our heroes indeed as season three of Legend of the Seeker seems to be in trouble. K Site TV has gotten in touch with an executive at Tribune Entertainment who has effectively stated that the show would not be returning for a third season. As Tribune is the company that distributes Legend of the Seeker on channels such as WGN, this would effectively mean that the Legend of the Seeker would be cancelled.

However! As we know in the Legend of the Seeker universe, just because things look like they are dead does not mean they will stay that way. Mike Sussman, a co-executive producer for the show posted the following on his Twitter today:

Everyone, please, chillax. #LegendoftheSeeker has *not* been cancelled. Plans are ongoing for season three. Spread the word.

It seems to be up in the air right now so call, write, and scream from the rooftops that you want to see the show return for a third season. I will post more information as I get it.

Legend of the Weeker: Hunger

Plot Recap: This episode finds Zedd's brother Thaddicus, you might remember him from the episode Confession . He delivers a chest of potions to the mapmaker, whom you might remember from the episode Bounty episode. Meanwhile, Richard and the gang runs into a woman who tells that people have abducted her people. Cara recommends ignoring her but of course the gang goes to help, following Richard. They approach a group of bandits and take them on. Cara chases one of them down and has her throat slashed. She dies and heads off to the underworld to converse with Darken Rahl.

Seriously is everyone coming in for a visit with Darken Rahl? She demands the deal to make her a baneling. Meanwhile the mapmaker finds a vial of Shadow Water in Thaddicus's trunk. Thaddicus strikes a deal for them to become partners. Darken Rahl is hesitant to help her, but eventually agrees to make Cara a baneling. She comes back but does not tell Richard of her troubles. In the town, a group of banelings is taking turns killing prisoners on a rack. Apparently, some entrepreneurs have created a kill-for-hire business where you can buy people you can kill to delay the baneling curse.

Thaddicus and the Mapmaker have come up with a business of their own. Apparently the Shadow Potion cures people of the baneling curse. They begin to get greedy and diluting it with water to make more money. Meanwhile Cara is geting impatient with the lack of killing that she is doing. She kills the guy who created the kill-for-hire business. Eventually they reach Sebastian the Mapmaker and Thaddicus stopping a couple of unsatisfied customers from killing him.

The unsatisfied captain is sent back to the underworld, where he tells Darken Rahl about the cure. Meanwhile Zedd finds out about the Shadow Water, which was found by his father. There are only a couple of drops left, but the Mapmaker has a machine that makes maps. Zedd creates a map usig the machine to lead them to the source of the Shadow Water. Thaddicus offers to come with them to help distribute the water. Unfortunately it is a three day ride, and Cara has to kill a few more banelings along the way.

She kills one D'haran one night but there are no more people around. Darken Rahl comes to tempt her to tell her the location of the Shadow Water source. She refuses so he suggests killing Thaddicus. She calls him over to gather wood but can't kill him at the last moment. She begins to pass away with Zedd having no power to help him. At the last minute, Thaddicus walks over to her with a knife in his hand so she can stab him.

He dies, goes to the underworld, and under torture from Darken Rahl tells him where the Shadow Water is located. A revived Cara and Richard run there to get some Shadow Water to cure her of the baneling curse. As they get there, Darken Rahl opens a rift to suck up all the Shadow Water. Richard manages to scoop up a little bit in his hand. It is enough to cure Cara. She gives Thaddicus the Breath of Life and he survives. Thaddicus is repentant about telling Darken Rahl. Zedd forgives him and he heads off on his way. Cara thanks Richard and Kahlan for helping her. Kahlan admits she would have likely taken the deal with the Keeper had she been killed as well.

Commentary: They clearly were not going to kill off one of the primary character so the Cara going off to the underworld was yet another one of those "Just Visiting" trips. Though I must say I was a little worried for a little bit. Cara is one of the best new developments this season. It was a little unclear why she did not initially tell Richard of her problems being a baneling and all. She is usually pretty upfront about her problems. Her plan wasn't exactly clear anyways. Cara seemed pretty determined to take the deal almost immediately, not really thinking about the consequence. The whole idea of hanging out in the underworld with Rahl wasn't incredibly appealing.

I understand that they need to keep Craig Parker around but everyone going to the Underworld every other episode is getting a little bit tiresome. Who is this Keeper guy anyways? Can't he find some people who used to be really good prison guards an just have them guard the new entries into the Underworld? He could just have some pictures of Richard and his friends. That way any time they come to the Underworld he could just keep them there. No deal. No talking. Just grab them and put them into an Underworld dungeon. The way this season is going, the Keeper would win in a few weeks.

This wasn't my favorite episode. While I like Ted Raimi's Mapmaker character, Thaddicus sort of annoys me. I don't find that he moves the plot along and I think I would have been just as satisfied if they never brought him back. This would have added a bit to Zedd's character who has become a bit stale as of late. Instead the status quo is maintained. I also am not the biggest fan of this. It would have been nice to know that there is an antidote to the whole baneling craze. This way Thaddicus could have also had something useful to do. In the last scene we learn that despite his selfless sacrifice at the hands of Cara, Thaddicus did not actually learn a thing. He just goes back to peddling Tonic Mud with the Mapmaker.

There really was not going on in this episode. Some people decided to become entrepreneurs by kidnapping people and then charging people to kill them. That was slightly grotesque. Richard continued to get distracted from his quest to stop the Keeper. It was a bit more disquieting this time around as he is working with a deadline. Although with the new prophecy about Kahlan all he really has to do is keep her alive. Which is cause not to hurry I guess. I feel like the Keeper isn't really fleshed out as a villain. The main bad guy seems to be Darken Rahl. And he is grossly incompetent aiding and abetting the gang of heroes to consistently escape his Underworld hangout.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 3 out of 10.

They really did not have much to do. They hung out and rescued some villagers. He still loves her. She him. Everyone is having fun. Except Cara I guess with the whole getting killed thing. Oh well. Kahlan admitted that she might be willing to take the Keepers kill-to-stay alive deal for the three points.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 5 out of 10.

He was very threatening when talking with the Mapmaker. There was also his handyman repair work with the Mapmaking machine. Zedd hanging out with his family is always good for a few creepy moments. He is so loving. And creepy.

Notable Quotes:

Richard: "If you take us to where your husband was grabbed, we can pick up the trail of the wagon."
Cara: "That will take days."
Richard: "We'll get back to looking for the Stone of Tears. Right now, this woman needs our help."

Darken Rahl: "Cara! How delightful! I knew it was only a matter of time before your misguided loyalty for the Seeker got you killed."

Cara: "I want the deal."

Mapmaker: "It wasn't my idea. I was helping out a friend."
Thaddicus: "Hello brother."

Zedd: "Few could withstand the torments of the underworld Thaddicus. Even fewer would sacrifice their life for another.

Kahlan: "If I was faced with the same choice... eternity in the underworld... or come back... help Richard... be with him... I might have made the same decision."

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Legend of the Weeker: Torn

Plot Synopsis: In this week's episode we find the gang following the compass to the most romantic spot in the Midlands. Unfortunately they come along some corpses hanging after being tortured to death. They find a seal of Aydindril on a sign near them. Apparently some guy named Fyren has taken control of Aydindril and is ruling with an iron fist. A wizard steals an amulet from the crypt and uses it as he is killed. The amulet takes him to Kahlan.

They decide to split up with Kahlan and Zedd heading to Aydindril and Cara and Richard maintaining the search for the Stone of Tears. As they take the amulet, Kahlan splits up into two people. One remaining with Richard and the other heading to tend to her duties in Aydindril. To make matters easier I will refer to the one that stays with Richard as Passionate Kahlan and the one with Zedd as Dutiful Kahlan.

The Passionate Kahlan decides to go to Aydindril thinking that Zedd will be in trouble. Meanwhile, Dutiful Kahlan who is hanging out with Zedd immediately runs over to Prince Fyren and confesses him, rightfully taking the throne of Aydindril. Unfortunately the power of the Mother Confessor is only transferred to Dutiful Kahlan. Passionate Kahlan realizes that she has lost her power in the midst of battle. She is upset by the lack of her Confessor power.

Meanwhile Dutiful Kahlan is reviewing edicts. She is surprisingly harsh to the letter of the law. Zedd realizes that something is wrong but he maintains his loyalty. As Passionate Kahlan and Richard are spending the night, Passionate Kahlan suggests that they sleep together seeing as she doesn't have her powers. Surprisingly, Dutiful Kahlan has decided that Fyren will sire the next Confessor and sleeps with him. This gets PG-13.

About as PG-13 as this show gets.

As the sun rises, Passionate Kahlan becomes way too clingy. She starts talking about children and never leaving. Ugh! She also starts being all jealous when Cara takes a leaf out of Richard's hair. Richard has to stop a girl fight which causes Passionate Kahlan runs off all huffy. It becomes clear that Passionate Kahlan has all the emotions and Dutiful Kahlan has kept all the prudence. Richard comes to the same conclusion and they head off to Aydindril.

Dutiful Kahlan conflicts with Zedd over her taking a new mate. She also disbands the Council of the Midlands citing their incompetence. Zedd discuses this with a local wizard and is captured as the other wizard has already been confessed. Dutiful Kahlan sentences Zedd to hang for treason as Passionate Kahlan, Richard, and Cara run into the square. Everyone is confused.

Richard goes to see Dutiful Kahlan and asks to see Zedd. Zedd explains how the amulet split up Kahlan. Richard decides to debate Kahlan to try to get her back together. His general thesis rests oh the fact that Dutiful Kahlan lacks compassion. He then shows off Passionate Kahlan. Dutiful Kahlan is pretty snooty and Passionate Kahlan begins to fight with her. Neither wants to go back to being one person. A fight breaks out. Cara stops the wizard but Dutiful Kahlan manages to confess Passionate Kahlan.

Too bad for Dutiful Kahlan, Cara stops her and threatens to kill her. Before things are set right, both claim that they could be with child. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! Zedd checks them out and neither are with child. Awkward. Zedd puts them back together again. Seeing that the other wizard is not confessed anymore they realize that the two people were in fact destroyed. The newly put together Kahlan has no memories of what happened. Although she wishes that remembered her tryst with Richard. She chooses to have her sister rule over Aydindril with the reinstated council as she will continue on the quest with Richard. Good times.

Commentary: Obscure references to tabloid talk shows from the nineties aside, Richard finally hooked up with Kahlan! Or rather with a version of Kahlan that has limited logic capabilities. Apparently, from the last five minutes, we are just going to ignore this. Since the Kahlan version that he slept with should have never existed, then in naturally follows that anything that she did was invalid. Seems kind of immoral to me of Richard. The obvious excuse is that he had no idea that this wasn't the actual Kahlan but the point seems moot. At the end of the day you slept with a girl and then had her killed. Awkward.

So I am going to go off on a bit of a nerd tangent and talk about the similarities between this episode and the episode of the original Star Trek called The Enemy Within. In it, Captain Kirk is split into a good and evil persona. While the good Kirk is compassionate he is completely unable to make hard decisions lacking the uncaring evil side. In our episode, the two parts of Kahlan were split in a similar way. Individually they are bad as a ruler and lover. Additionally, in a personal pet peeve that I already mentioned, the two parts of Kahlan, which were two distinct beings were destroyed at the end of the episode. Doesn't this trigger a moral alarm bell for anybody?

The split between the two parts of Kahlan wasn't completely clear to me either. Kahlan's dutiful side seemed to certainly have emotions, just lacked those emotions that she had for Richard. However the duties of the Mother Confessor seem to be about more than just ruling over Aydindril. There wasn't a clear split between the two Kahlans. Dutiful Kahlan was just a jerk, and Passionate Kahlan was a clingy wench. I couldn't think of a single clear split between them. Emotional and rational seemed to be natural, but both Kahlans had inclinations towards facets of the other. I guess the split could be between the Kahlan that wanted to be with Richard and the one that wants to go home and rule Aydindril but that seems illogical.

I love how this episode yet again shows off Richard's debating skill. Him and Kahlan should join up with the Midlands debate team. Like I mentioned before, it was a bit strange as to why Dutiful Kahlan was such a jerk. I get that she wanted to help the people of Aydindril but was enacting a bunch of archaic laws the best way to do so? She also seemed to delight in her position. That wasn't logical or rational at all. She was just annoying. Though it was fun to see this devious side of Kahlan. As always Cara proves to be an invaluable asset to the gang with her grabbing Dutiful Kahlan just in the nick of time.

Richard and Dutiful Kahlan Romance Index: 0 out of 10

Dutiful Kahlan wasn't having any of Richard. Unless you count impassioned pleas of debate, little romance to be had here. Plus she hooked up with Prince Fyren... many times.

Richard and Passionate Kahlan Romance Index: 10 out of 10.

She was everything he ever wanted. For a night. Then she saw Cara harmlessly cleaning a leaf out of his hair and got all controlling and needy. And he just wanted things to be cool. This is probably about as much romance as we're going to get out of these two. It was strange that Whole Kahlan wasn't more upset after the fact. "So let me get this straight... you slept with one half of me?"

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 10 out of 10.

If you saw the episode you know what I am going to say. Zedd apparently can moonlight as a gynecologist who can detect pregnancies. While staring straight ahead with a dead serious look on his face. If I was either of the two Kahlan's, I would definitely ask for a second opinion.

Notable Quotes:


Kahlan: "I wish I didn't have to go."

Dutiful Kahlan: "But Fyren and I have been intimate... many times."
Zedd: "Both of you are nothing but magical fragments. Conception under such circumstances would be impossible."

Kahlan: "Richard there are some things that you told me that I'm glad I don't remember. Some I wish I did."

Richard: "You know I'd understand if you did want to stay."
Kahlan: "I'll always be torn... But I can only be in one place at a time. And right now that place is with you."

Editor's Note: Have your own favorite quote from the episode? Did we forget to mention your favorite moment and now you're angry? Leave it in the comments and we'll update with the best of. Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.