Editor's Note: As in "It has been an eternity since I posted." Ta-dum-tish. I have been traveling the world and got back not too long ago. I am doing these episodes in the order I am watching them so try to avoid spoilers in the comments. Yes I am that dedicated that I am not watching the finale until I can blog about the two previous episodes. I really am going to try to catch up but I have no idea how long that will take. Also I am going to stop doing Notable Quotes. They take forever. If you want you can post yours in the comments and I will add them. User generated content people!!!!
Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with Richard and Cara trapping a Mord Sith who was following the gang. She tells Cara that her son is in danger. A son fathered by Darken Rahl. Apparently this was an honor and the sons were taken to be raised by the Dragon Corps as soldiers. The palace where this was taking place was raided and the boy taken by the Sisters of the Dark. Richard sends Zedd with Cara to get the kid back, while Kahlan and him will continue in search of the Stone of Tears. Splitting up always works so well for these guys, why wouldn't it work now.
We then cut to a guy delivering some groan-worthy lines to a pretty lady. Unfortunately when he tries to touch her, he passes right through her. Hearing a noise she takes off her ring causing him to disappear. A man approaches her and tells her that the Seeker is getting close. In reality, Richard and Kahlan come to a cliffside. The compass tells them to go through it and so they enter a hidden cave through the cliffside.
Kahlan and her Mord Sitth friends are talking about Zedd snoring and their quests when all of the sudden they start to make out. Odd.
Meanwhile, Richard and Kahlan set up a cute camp in the hidden cave. They talk about how nice it is to be alone together. They have a romantic talk about imaginary children. They also start making out. Kahlan also confesses that she is having difficulty keeping apart from Richard when they are alone.
Cara and her little Mord Sith friend talk about running away from their respective duties but decide that it probably wouldn't work out. Richard and Kahlan make their way through the cave and come out of another secret fake cave wall. They emerge in a utopian place complete with crazy sun temple and a bunch of good looking people greeting him. They tell him that they have been waiting for him and show him the Stone of Tears.
Then they tell him a story about how these guys waited thousands of years to give him the Stone. Apparently the Stone is magical. They also tell them that they cannot leave. These guys also tell them that they are destined to repopulate the world after it is destroyed. Richard tells them that he is leaving. They say that they will not stop them but pray for the Creator to help them. They also cannot leave.
Cara is betrayed by her friend and a bunch of Mord Sith attack her. She then wakes up chained up by Darken Rahl Sucky. He tells her that Zedd is alive but her son died the day he was born. He starts to train her again. Cara's friend gives some food to Zedd and then starts to train Cara herself. She also talks to Cara about their memories together. Unfortunately Cara is not impressed and head butts her.
Meanwhile Kahlan and Richard climb a cliff to get out of their crazy valley. As they reach the top, Kahlan slips and falls. Richard reaches the top but then ends up at the bottom. They realize they are trapped. They go back to the guardians but they just start praying nonsense.
Darken Rahl has troubles breaking Cara but then the Sisters of the Dark show up and he strikes a bargain with them. They cast a spell on the agiel that Darken Rahl is using to make it more powerful. She begins to get hurt by it.
Richard and Kahlan talk about actually going through with the plans of the crazy religious nuts to repopulate the world. Some girl approaches them to give them some fruit. She unwittingly drops some knowledge that only someone who recently lived in the real world would know. The girl tells them that she has a magical ring that allows her to communicate with the outside world. They use the ring to talk to the girl's friend and tell him to find Zedd.
Darken Rahl completes Cara's training and tells her to kill Zedd. She decides not to and attacks Darken Rahl instead. She kicks Darken Rahl a couple of times for good measure. Zedd saves the kid from a couple of bandits and communicates with Richard. They can't break Kahlan and Richard out but decide to try to transport the Stone of Tears out.
They get it out but Cara attacks Zedd and takes it. The compass begins working again so they use it to get out of the valley, reuniting the two lovers and what remains of the gang. Cara brings the Stone of Tears to Darken Rahl. Fantastic.
Commentary: Well isn't that just terrible. They finally get the Stone of Tears, which as I have put it before seems like it took the better half of an afternoon. Then they go and just give it all to Darken Rahl. Also have we determined if this is all bad? Doesn't he want to close the rift anyways so he doesn't end up in the Underworld again? He does a lot of wheeling and dealing but it doesn't sound like he really wants the world to end.
I can't really say that I enjoyed this episode. It seems like the leader of the Stone of Tears cult was laughably bad. His commentary kind of made me want Richard to run him through with the Sword of Truth. I also didn't really like Richard and Kahlan's interactions in this episode. It all seemed kind of juvenile, like teenagers making out in the car and trying to decide whether to go all the way. It was also a stretch that Richard might suggest that they go along with the crazy religious folks' plan. Do you not know anything about genetics man?
Now the whole Cara being trained by Darken Rahl was a mixed bag. First of all since when does Darken Rahl know how to train people. I feel like that was just retrofitted into the story. It was also a bit tired. Haven't we already been here. However, I kind of liked Darken Rahl's decision to go to the Sisters of the Dark to ask for help. Thinking outside the box there. The betrayal at the end also really surprised me. I don't know of it is a condemnation for the fact that most of the time the show is pretty cookie cutter, or praise for a worthy twist. But there you have it.
I'm not sure where they are going with the Cara is a lesbian thing. Once again some consistency would be nice. We had hints of Cara's lifestyle in the beginning of the season. Then we were silent on the topic matter. A bunch of readers suggested that there were feelings that Cara was feeling towards Kahlan in the Desecrated episode. Then we get to a point where she has a hidden girlfriend. I feel like there is some good material there but the writers can't figure out a way to mesh it into a consistent story.
Richard and Kahlan's Romance Index: 7 out of 10.
It was mushy but they really had some romantic moments. The time in the cave could have been great and maybe it did show off the difficulty of their situation. Their talk about their kid being strong enough to fight off Cara's and Darken Rahl's kid was interesting. I also really liked Kahlan's harsh reaction to the one girl's commentary about difficult it was to be with someone and not be able to touch them.
Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 3 out of 10.
He seemed very sure of himself when trying to convince Cara not to kill him. Also when he lost the Stone he was kind of overly hard on himself. But nothing too creepy.
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