Legend of the Weeker: Princess

Editor's Note: Sorry this is so late. Will try to catch up in the coming week.

Plot Synopsis: The episode opens with the Sisters of the Dark killing Sister Portia. A Mord Sith then reinvigorates her with the Breath of Life. Sister Nicci takes her place in an underworld switcheroo. Meanwhile as the gang sits around a fire, two gars take Kahlan away. Apparently some rich lord captured her. He is really rich and in his castle, magic has no effect. He declares that he has plans for her and puts her in a cell with his wife.

Sister Nicci summons Darken Rahl and demands an oath of immunity from death for her and her friends. Zedd decides that Cara will take place of a princess that the lord wants to replace his aformentioned dungeoned wife. She has to act like a princess. Meanwhile Richard will act as her brother, and Zedd takes the place of her aunt. She also has to answer every question in poetic verse. It is as painful as it sounds. She completely screws it up when meeting the Margrave. Zedd pretending to be the Duchess tells the lord that Cara is weary.

Meanwhile Kahlan is hanging out with the former Queen in the dungeon. She keeps trying to build up the queen's confidence, but she is completely subservient to the rule of the Margrave. Zedd keeps trying to train Cara, but to no avail. The Margrave's assistant develops a crush on Richard and he uses it to explore the grounds. Richard tries to get in the dungeon but it is locked solidly with the Margrave's key. Zedd tells Richard to seduce the Margrave's sister. Who happens to be quite homely.

Richard is unable to get to the dungeon and then is stopped from hooking up with the sister because the other girl in competition for the Margrave's heart tells on him. Cara recites some poetry about how she tortured and killed a slave and Zedd offers for her to take the Margrave on a hunt. The Margrave offers to spare Richard's life if he promises to marry his sister.

Cara decides to ignore all the rules set for her and kills the Shardrin and eats his raw liver. She decides to seduce the Margrave the old fashioned way. He seems pleased. Later as they are having dinner, Sister Nicci and her friends interrupt the banquet. She gives the Margrave her contract with the Keeper. Kahlan tries to convince the queen to fight back against her captors but she seems hesitant. Cara interrupts the Margrave's meeting with Nicci to get him into the bedchambers. She attacks him but he is able to fend her off.

Just then Nicci discovers Richard and Zedd's ruse about who they are. A fight breaks out and she heads to the dungeon. Kahlan breaks free as well and they kill all of the Sisters save Nicci who decides to jump out the window. They all leave the palace and the former queen comes with them. The Margrave awakens and realized that all the women left and he is alone. Kahlan makes fun of everybody because they look silly. Yay, everyone is having a good time.

Commentary: Ugh. I waited for a while to watch this episode, and it really wasn't that great. The scenes where Cara was trying to recite poetry was wince inducing. The whole Zedd as a woman thing did really not work for me. I mean I guess it would be possible that he could be a women, although not really. There was no way I could believe that someone would fall in love with him. Also the fat princess was a bit cliche. All these things kind of made the show distracting to watch.

Replacing Sister Nicci's character with the blonde who looks like she would be astounded by simple facts was also a bit distracting. She was pretty enough but lacked the gravitas that Jolene Blaylock carried. I understand that acting schedules don't always work out but I wish they would have thought this out earlier. On the other hand, Nicci and her massive powers are now back. I wonder if this means that Richard will one day get all his Han back.

I don't really have a lot to write about in this episode. Short of the return of Sister Nicci, the plot was not advanced in the slightest. It really wasn't clear how the Margrave gained that much power nor did he lose anything short of his pride. A bunch of the Sisters of the Dark were killed. How many of them can there be? It seems like every episode they figure in, a dozen end up dead. They should look into new careers. Plus we got to see Cara wearing something different than her Mord Sith outfit. Nice.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 3 out of 10.

No time for romance when Kahlan is captured by a creepy dude and kept in his inescapable dungeon. Kahlan also took time off from pining for Richard to teach the Margrave's wife how to believe in herself. Richard did take the time to stop his quest to go after her, but then again he has to keep her alive at all costs anyways.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 10 out of 10.

Zedd cross-dressed for the majority of the episode. He also spoke in pentameter. Lastly he pretty much seduced the Margrave's right hand man. Excellent work Zedd. I can't really think of anything he could do that would be creepier than his work in this episode. Zedd has set the bar very high.

Notable Quotes: Zedd's Poetry:

The night was a tumult
of thunder and storm.
But ever since then,
it's been lovely and warm.

If I may request your,
permission to speak,
Oh great one before whom,
the mighty are meek.

When her mother was killed
in a fall from the saddle,
She was raised by her father
on the trail of [UNCLEAR].
Though deficient perhaps
in the making of lace,
She has mastered the arts of
of the hunt and the chase.
The forests of Rothemberg,
so I am told,
Are teeming with Shadrins,
ferocious and bold.
Would it be asking a favor
too terribly blunt,
If I begged you to give us
the thrill of the hunt.

Anyone figure out what Zedd said in the UNCLEAR section above?

Editor's Note: Have your own favorite quote from the episode? Did we forget to mention your favorite moment and now you're angry? Leave it in the comments and we'll update with the best of. Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.