Legend of the Weeker: Touched

Plot Synopsis: The episode finds our heroes finding a night wisp. You might remember them from the series premiere. Kahlan asks for help finding any remaining confessors. One comes across a girl who apparently has a domineering father who won't let her travel or get married and locks her in a castle tower. Odd.

The gang decides to split up. Always a good idea. Kahlan and Richard will go with Flynn to find this confessor and Zedd takes Cara to Pemorah. Richard and Kahlan get to the castle only to learn that her servant poisoned her father and stole the confessor away. Apparently the father was confessed and taken as a mate with the confessor giving birth to this girl. Once the confessor died, the father locked her away in the tower. Meanwhile the servants try to sell her to some bandits who begin draining her power. With a droplet of it, the lead bandit confesses one of the servants and has him kill the other one.

Richard and Kahlan manage to rescue the girl, whose name is Annabelle, with an assist by Flynn. He gets confessed by her for his troubles. Kahlan explains her powers to her, and the fact that her father was killed. They plan to take her to get trained as a confessor. Flynn manages to become even more annoying. Zedd and Cara make it to Pemorah and are told that they need the person with the rune to get the Stone of Tears.

Kahlan continues to tell Annabelle about the whole last of the confessors bit. They also talk about romance. It... err... doesn't work out too well. Flynn tricks Richard and Kahlan and takes the horses. To do this Flynn stabs himself. Then he gets to hang out and do stuff with Annabelle. He even tries to go back to meet Richard and Kahlan with the rune. Annabelle refuses and then confesses another guy. Or six.

Cara and Zedd attack the tomb and Zedd burns all the banelings. They head back to meet Richard and Kahlan. Annabelle then confesses Richard because she is a brat. Yeah that won't last too long. Kahlan tries to kill her but Richard stops her. Then Kahlan convinces the two to come to Pemorah. Zedd traps Richard and Flynn. Before they kill Annabelle they decide to try to use that sorcerer's draining crystal.

The gang grabs a locket from the tomb in Pemorah. Not knowing what it does, Kahlan and Cara head out to grab the sorcerer's crystal. They trick the sorcerer by pretending Kahlan is Cara's prisoner. Kahlan manages to confess the sorcerer and get the stone. Annabelle then suggests that Kahlan should... ahem... mate with Richard to produce another confessor. While under Annabelle's confession, her power would have no effect. They actually go through with this and start making out...

Heavily...

This gets slightly PG-13. Of course right before they are about to get down to it, Kahlan stops him because realizes that Richard is only doing this because Annabelle told him to. This whole show is like an awkward date. They then use the crystal to drain Annabelle of her power. Everyone turns out okay. Flynn decides to take off with Annabelle towards the ocean. Richard opens the locket and finds what appears to be a compass inside which is to lead his way... North!

Commentary: Can we please not have any more weird kids inducing complete awkwardness between Richard and Kahlan. It feels like half the episodes have this story line. We saw it in Listener, we saw it in Elixir,we saw it in Cursed. It's always a magical kid. Always making naive remarks that are incredibly apt to Richard and Kahlan's relationship. Not to mention the fact that Annabelle managed to make Flynn even more insufferable. Thank heavens he is gone!

All in all, the episode was in a lot of the places at once. Thank god the Flynn thing was resolved and we don't have to see him any more. It appears from the looks of things Annabelle won't be making a return either. Which is just fine by me. I don't mind them introducing other characters but one dimensional adventure stereotypes just aren't doing it for me. There are cool characters are out there. We need more Shota. Bring back Chase for that matter. Get him across the boundary.

The show this season might be spreading itself a bit too thin. There are too many storylines to keep track of. Last season, Richard was just going along on a quest to kill Darken Rahl and helping those he came across. This season we have the stopping the underworld arc. Richard is also officially the ruler of D'hara and is destined to fail in this quest. Now they have to deal with Kahlan being the last confessor. It makes episodes like this where everyone is everywhere a bit hasty.

On that note, what is the deal with the banelings. Richard came up with the idea that they have to burn the corpses when they kill them. Apparently now Zedd can just burn them right up. That should come in handy. They also need to stock up on some oils for some impromptu flame throwers. I thought the whole Pemorah tomb was a bit too easy to get inside. Seems like the Keeper should have sent more than a few guards. The give and take between Zedd and Cara was pretty priceless though.

Also for no reason... HD Porn!


Kahlan and Richard Romance Index: 8 out of 10.

So close yet so far away. I mean you knew that Kahlan was going to stop him. Kahlan doesn't stop believing in Richard even after he was confessed. Of course, Richard and Kahlan are still madly in love with each other and can't be together or else the whole show would be over. I might have to change this to how close did they come to hooking up index.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 4 out of 10.

Dude loves burning zombie soldiers. Soldier on. I also love him not being willing to use magic when alone with Cara. Come on Zedd you always liked strong women.

Notable Quotes:

Kahlan: "Our gift makes the kind of romance you've read about... impossible"

Zedd: "What's at stake is far too important to rely on probability."
Cara: "I don't believe you have the luxury of caution."

Flynn: "I can't say it's been fun. But it's been interesting."

Richard: "Kahlan, I can understand why you couldn't go through with it. But part of me wishes you had."
Kahlan: "Me too."

Richard: "We head north."

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Legend of the Weeker: Baneling

Plot Synopsis: We find our heroes in a gorgeous clearing with Kahlan and Zedd talking about how they distrust Cara. Richard meanwhile is checking his mark out in a reflection in his sword. Kahlan comes over and tries to to comfort him, which like, whoa. They trek to the abbey to try to find the abbott that knows where the Stone of Tears is. However, they find the abbey destroyed with no sign of the monks. Cara suggests that they were taken to a death camp.

The D'harans are busy killing prisoners for no reason. The gang rushes in and a battle breaks out. Kahlan confess one of the soldiers while Richard throws his sword and kills the commanding general. They free the children and a mother is reunited with her son. The second in command tells him that the abbott has been executed. Richard buries the bodies of the D'harans and the general nicknamed the General is transported to the underworld to chill with Darken Rahl.

Kahlan and Cara tell the villagers to either hang out or head home. The mother from earlier asks about a town in which her father lived. Cara tells her that the Dragon Corps has destroyed that town and Kahlan scolds her for not being more compassionate. It is also determined there isn't enough food to eat so Cara sets out to get provisions. She also gives a horse to a guy asking to bury his brother out in the country and attempts com-pas-sion. Doesn't work.

A monk from the abbott's order meets Richard and is told of the tear in the veil. He tells that the abbott kept a locket which would have been stored with the looted treasure from the D'harans. They go to check on the treasure and find the one guys dead brother instead. Apparently the guy peaced out with the treasure. Kahlan and Cara argue about whose fault it was and are interrupted when the monk finds a bunch of dead bodies who apparently were killed by the dead general.

They hide all the people inside the prison. Richard sets Cara out to find the dude who stole the treasure. Richard and Zedd check on the Butcher's grave and find him and all the D'harans dug up. The abbott they were looking for finds them. He was apparently in the underworld and now has become a baneling for the Keeper. He must kill in order to stay in the world and they decide to kill some D'harans. Unfortunately they are already dead.

The abbott who is unable to kill then dies. Again. Cara finds the kid trying to hook up with two girls. She starts to seduce with some conveniently muffled out phrases. She brings him to Richard, who sees the rune and they decide to take him with them after dealing with the undead soldiers. Unfortunately he is killed by that mother from earlier. He too is approached in the underworld by Darken Rahl but is resurrected by Cara's Breath of Life.

He tells who killed him and then they lock the mother up in a cage. Meanwhile the baneling soldiers are told to get the kid with the rune on his hand. They attack the camp. Kahlan and the prisoners escape out a hole that Zedd makes in a wall. When the soldiers run in, Richard blows the camp up after the obligatory one liner killing all the soldiers inside. The mother's kid runs off with the monk while the creepy dude tries to hit on Cara. Doesn't work. As Richard gives an inspirational speech, it is shown that the kid was a baneling who kills the monk.

Commentary: Another mystery type episode with a bunch of other stuff thrown in. Kahlan and Zedd still don't trust Cara while Richard does. The Keeper is making things really difficult for Richard because now he has to think before he just runs in swords blazing. It was pretty exciting and the first time I watched it, I couldn't really guess who the actual killer was. Though it makes sense in retrospect. The kid being a baneling caught me completely off guard.

The Kahlan and Cara dynamic seems a bit forced. In fact there was a lot of weird switching in the pacing of the show. There was a bit of mystery as to who was murdering the D'harans. Also the end of the episode was like watching an action blockbuster complete with ridiculous lines and slow motion escapes from explosions. The whole adventure seemed like it was rapidly getting out of control. Whatever are Richard and friends going to do?

It seems Richard is getting quite aggressive in his leadership role. He thinks nothing of killing the prisoners to get some directions. Not long before this, Kahlan makes the claim that these people need to be brought to justice and not killed vigilante style. Apparently though when Richard needs to find the Stone of Tears then it's anything goes. The morality issues that arise from Cara being a part of the gang might be rubbing off on Richard.

Speaking of Cara rubbing off on people, do we really have to put up with the hand map guy? His awkward hitting on Cara was wince-inducing. The fights between Cara and Kahlan were pretty good though as it is interesting to see Kahlan out of her element. Plus she is definitely going alpha female with Richard.

I know I have said it before but the New Zealand landscape is definitely one of the best supporting actors in this show. The producers have added plenty of shots of riding through the New Zealand country side which is pure HD porn. Even when the action isn't great it always provides something nice to look at.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 4 out of 10.

I mean Kahlan had to check several times on that scar that Richard got from Darken Rahl. While these moments had some clear sexual tension, it was also slightly awkward. I also loved Richard THROWING the Sword of Truth to prevent Kahlan from getting nicked in battle.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 5 out of 10.

How many powers does the guy have that he didn't use last season. If I was Richard I would be so mad. I mean he has already used two powers that he really didn't bust out last year. Plus he set corpses on fire.

Notable Quotes:

Kahlan: "The spirit of the tyrant that you killed comes back from the grave and burns the mark of the Keeper on your chest. It's not nothing Richard. I wish I knew what it meant."
Richard: "What we do know is that we need to seal the rift between this world and the underworld... and to do that we need to find the Stone of Tears."

Darken Rahl: "You've served me well in life general. It is my hope that you will do the same for the Keeper now that you're dead."

Richard: "Did you see who did this?"
Monk: "It was the butcher. He's come back from the grave."

Richard: "Welcome back to Talthrane." EXPLOSIONS!!!

Richard: "If we have to kill to save an innocent life we'll do it. No matter how many souls the Keeper claims... As long as there are even a few people left to create life... And as long as people are willing to protect that life... The Keeper can't win.

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Legend of the Weeker: Mirror

Synopsis: The episode opens with Richard making out with some super skank. All this while Kahlan waits for him, and she admonishes him for this. They show up in a town where a D'haran soldier is threatening the town to pay a tribute. Kahlan confesses him and they suggest that Richard and Kahlan will guard the treasury. After they are left alone in the treasury it is clear that these are impostors.

In the morning the leader of the town, whose wife Fake Richard was fooling around with, realizes that Fake Richard and Fake Kahlan have robbed the town. They were in cahoots with Gwildor, the guy pretending to be the D'haran guard, who has some sort of magic mirror. He turns them back into fat, unattractive thieves. They go to a bar to celebrate but the real Richard and Kahlan show up. Logically, the thieves decide to steal the Sword of Truth from the Seeker. Best way to do this is for Fake Kahlan to seduce Richard... by skinny dipping.

Fake Richard gets away with the Sword of Truth when Fake Kahlan kisses Richard. Nice.

Richard and Kahlan figure out that someone was pretending to be them and they set out to try to recover the Sword of Truth. Gwildor goes in to a D'haran camp saying that he can deliver the Seeker and Confessor. Elsewhere Fake Richard and Fake Kahlan decide that they are just going to kill Gwildor and take the spoils for themselves. So basically everyone is against everyone.

The D'harans capture Fake Richard and Fake Kahlan and Real Richard and Real Kahlan are attacked by the townspeople. Fortunately they escape with the help of that woman who Fake Richard was with. The D'haran captain comes to the bar and attacks the bar maid, Bianca. But it ends up being Gwildor, her husband. God this episode is confusing. He plans to turn over Fake Richard and Fake Kahlan over to a Mord Sith. Also they are weirdly erotic and Bianca asks Gwildor turns back into the captain before hooking up with her. Weird. After he leaves, Richard and Kahlan show up and the bar maid runs to warn her husband.

Fake Richard and Fake Kahlan escape by Fake Richard seducing the ONE gay guard and Fake Kahlan knocking him out. Gwildor, who is pretending to be the captain, talks to his wife and decides to send a quad of assassins to kill the Fake Richard and Fake Kahlan and go after the Real Richard and Kahlan with the soldiers. Zedd comes back, saves Fake Richard and Fake Kahlan from the assassins and quickly figures out that they are impostors.

Richard and Kahlan are captured by the D'harans while Zedd forms a plan with the impostors. Zedd confronts Bianca with Fake Richard and Fake Kahlan. Meanwhile, Richard and Kahlan are handed over to the Mord Sith. Bianca shows up with the Fake Richard and Fake Kahlan in tow and unmasks Gwildor using the mirror. The Mord Sith, as confused by all this as I was, goes with the approach to bring everyone to Darken Rahl and let him sort it out.

They come across Zedd tied to a tree. The Mord Sith heads to investigate. Oh too bad for the D'harans, Bianca turned out to be Zedd in disguise. He/She does this:

Everyone runs off but Bianca who is trapped in Zedd's body and Gwildor who are captured by the Mord Sith. Everyone turns back into who they originally were, except for Bianca who still looks exactly like Zedd. Her husband is all creeped out as they are led off to a fate worse than death.

Synopsis: I do not like episodes that have these magical spells that switch peoples identity. A pretty big theme in a previous episode: Identity. It really throws everything off and feels a little lazy on the writing part. I wasn't really impressed with the people pretending to be Richard and Kahlan. Everything was way too weird and confusing. It also does not advance the overall story very much. Oh well.

One thing that stuck out like a sore thumb was the D'haran guard that was gay for Richard. Why would the D'harans put one gay guard with an affection for the Seeker to guard THE SEEKER! Do they want to die? Even if the guy pretending to be the captain ordered this, didn't anyone think to be like: "Uhh so this guy is the Seeker right? With the Confessor? We should probably double or even triple up on the guard duty." And what a dereliction of duty this guard does. Yeah, just go right into that cell with the Seeker and Confessor to try to get a piece of ass. You'll be okay. Dumbass.

Finally Zedd returned in full form. He adds a necessary facet to this show that just isn't there when it is just Richard and Kahlan. It's part humor and part direction of their journey. When it is just the two, it almost seems like they are mindlessly wandering around. The other thing is that even though he is dead against the romance between Richard and Kahlan, their feelings feel far more fleshed out when he is there. A great example of this is the scene in the end where Richard tries to explain his time spent with Fake Kahlan. Zedd pushes him into the right thing to say. In this case, nothing.

It doesn't happen often with this show, but a few times I feel like when there is not enough depth in the plot, they really make the shots HD-Pornoriffic. This episode is also a great example of the dichotomy of what's prettier to look at in HD. All the New Zealand vistas or the leads who are also quite pleasant to look at. They started the episode with the skinny dipping so there was no way fans were going to look the other way. It is a bit disappointing to have episodes that are weak in plot. You can definitely tell the actors loved playing these diametrically opposite characters to the ones they normally play.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: Undefined.

I have no idea because I was too confused to keep track of who was who in this episode. Plus the added layer of the mistaken identities made it difficult to analyze the feelings between the two. There was that brief scene at the end, but I wouldn't classify that as romance. I really hope they do more to develop this important part of the story.

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 4 out of 10.

He's back. And not that creepy. Though he did send Bianca and Gwildor to what is likely a horrible death. I also know that the ending scene isn't Zedd, but that is some creepiness when the woman is trapped looking like him for the rest of her life. How dreadful.

Notable Quotes:

Richard: "What if you lose control?"
Fake Kahlan: "Oh I can control myself. Question is, can you?"

Richard: "I was distracted."
Kahlan: "By a naked woman you went swimming with."
Richard: "I thought it was you."

Kahlan: "Zedd?"
Zedd as Bianca: "In a manner of speaking"

Fake Kahlan: "You may be the one true Seeker but you're not very much fun."

Zedd:"Sometimes I think there's entirely too much magic in the world."

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Legend of the Weeker: Elixir

Synopsis: The episode starts with Richard slicing up some floating fruit for Zedd. Richard then stumbles to get clean in some scenic waterfalls. Enter Kahlan with the same thought.

Before she has a chance to admonish him for being pervy, someone steals their horses. The trio heads back to Drundril, a nearby town. The kid sells back the horses for a vial of something. He then uses said vial to seduce some girl who freaks out after making out with him. Richard, Kahlan and Zedd explore the town and look for the kid. Some trashy bartender serves Richard a drink and then he sees the kid by the lake. They convince the kid to lead them to the peddlers. A fight breaks out and Kahlan confesses one of them.

When the men find out that Zedd is a wizard, they run off. A shopkeeper recognizing the Sword of Truth invites them in. In a cave a wizard is told about Zedd in the town. The shopkeeper tells them that magic potions are being sold and pretty much ruining the town. The confessed guy runs up and lets them know where to find the magic peddlers.

Richard asks all about Kahlan's power. He runs up to ask her when Zedd won't explain and they are attacked with some magic and knocked out. Zedd is then captured when his magic has little effect. Richard wakes up and is worried that Kahlan is hurt but she's okay. The wizard takes Zedd to a different cave and Richard and Kahlan can't find him. Kahlan explains her power to Richard and he wants to try to use a magic potion to find Zedd.

The shopkeeper runs up and yells that the horse thief boy is in trouble. Zedd catches up with Jeziah, the other wizard. Jeziah shows him an quillion, a crystal that drains wizards of their magic. He has been selling the magic potions to raise a militia against Rahl. Jeziah tries to convince Zedd to join him but Zedd won't do it because it hurts the town. Zedd is then captured by the wizard using a Rada'Han collar that blocks his power. Richard trades in his father's pendant to get some magic to find Zedd.

The kid tells Kahlan that he was trying to do impress a girl. Richard uses the potion to try to find Zedd. Zedd lectures Jeziah on becoming just like Rahl. While Richard and Kahlan are arguing about using magic to find Zedd, that confessed guy attacks him. He knocks Richard out and the magic wears off. Richard remembers the vision and uses some clues to figure out where Zedd is being held.

They find Zedd and attack the gang with the wizard. Jeziah turns invisible. Too bad Richard had that sweet lesson with the invisible fruit. Richard slices Jeziah and the Zedd stops him that with the Rada'Han collar.The confessed guy is killed saving Kahlan. Zedd gets his power back and Richard gets a valuable lesson in using magic responsibly. Kahlan gets back Richard's pendant and they leave the village in a better place. The kid gets his crush a flower. Zedd tells Kahlan that her and Richard can never be.

Commentary: This is a great episode. It has everything that makes this show great. Zedd is creepy yet waxes wise. Kahlan is gorgeous and hounded by her magic. Richard is impetuous but badass when he is needed the most. All the themes of the series are touched upon here. Helping the less fortunate. Forbidden love. Magic and its consequences. Good stuff.

Not only that, but I think this episode they really went all out on the New Zealand visuals. The country where they film this is absolutely gorgeous. Pretty much every single transition shot was some beautiful countryside. I once read an analysis of the bizarre popularity of CSI: Miami. The reviewer defined it as HD-porn, where the show's less-than-stellar content was masked by beautiful visuals that look great in HD. Never one to read a good idea on the internet and not rip it off, I shall now refer to episodes that are heavy on great New Zealand visuals as "HD-Pornoriffic". This will also be a tag. Though I think the content of Legend of the Seeker is already great and is only enhanced by the HD-Pornoriffic visuals.

The show maintains it's heavy reliance on Star Wars mythology. The scene with the floating fruit and the fruit turns invisible. Only thing missing from that was Han Solo making fun of "hokey religions and ancient weapons". The Sword of Truth can also deflect Wizard's Fire. I don't mind because the geek in me loves Star Wars, but I sure hope Lucas is collecting royalties. Of course it's a pretty timeless story so some similarities are bound to arise.

A episode like this shows how much is lacking from the later episodes where Zedd is not around. The theme of the ambiguity of morality in using magic is interwoven throughout the plot of the episode. Kahlan has to come to terms with how the Confessor's power affects her life. Zedd must deal with Jeziah using magic to an ultimately good end but having terrible short term effects. Of course, Richard is new to this whole magic thing and has to see when it is okay to use magic and when he needs to rely on himself. Only thing is Richard uses magic on a daily basis considering the Sword of Truth is nothing but magic. Kahlan's argument doesn't hold a lot of water here.

Richard and Kahlan Romance Index: 7 out of 10.

This episode is pretty focused on the developing feelings between Richard and Kahlan. There is that first awkward interaction when he spots her bathing. He is also pretty worried about her when they are knocked unconscious. At the end when she gets him back his father's pendant, it is almost like she is trying to impress him. That is some sort of grin she has on her. Did anyone else wonder what she did to that trashy bartender to get the pendant back?

Zedd's Creepiness Factor: 5 out of 10.

Zedd eats a lot of food. His yelling at Richard for losing the horses was pretty hilarious. Also, I love how dramatic he gets whenever he uses Wizard's Fire. He also tries to get a rat to gnaw on a man's junk to escape Jeziah. Talk about using any means necessary.

Notable Quotes:

Richard: "Kahlan, about back at the river. I didn't see anything."
Kahlan: "Richard... you should never lie to a confessor"

Richard: "I want to help these people. But my mission is to fight Darken Rahl."
Zedd: "Rahl isn't the only evil in the Midlands."

Kahlan: "People deserve a chance to change. To be better than the world made them."

Richard: "I know you want to protect me because I'm the Seeker."
Kahlan: "It's not just because you're the Seeker. Richard... I..."

Zedd: "I see the way he looks at you and how you are starting to notice him. But you know neither of you can ever act on these feelings."

Editor's Note: Have your own favorite quote from the episode? Did we forget to mention your favorite moment and now you're angry? Leave it in the comments and we'll update with the best of. Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.