Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Diary of a D'haran


D'haran Soldier Picture

Word has begun to spread like wildfire throughout the D'Haran Army: the Seeker is dead!! At least that's what my regimental buddy, Riggs, said. He has a cousin who is stationed at Darken Rahl's castle and is sleeping with the wife of Darken Rahl's trusted military advisor. She heard it straight from the lips of her husband: the Seeker is dead! Like the fool he is, the Seeker fell for our great leader's simple trap when he went home to visit his family. As a husband and father I respect that a man values his family. As a warrior I think it shows weakness to go home before your job is done. The Seeker was a weakling and our brilliant Lord Rahl is now free to bring peace and prosperity to the Midlands!

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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Diary of a D'haran


D'haran Soldier Picture

Sorry for taking such a long break from posting. It's been a hectic few weeks. First Demmin Nas, my general, gets killed by that dodgy old wizard. The man burned alive by wizard's fire! I was devastated. Me and some of the other soldiers locked ourselves in the slavegirls' quarters with a barrel of fermented grain for a week. But then I suddenly had a realization. Two, to be honest. First, my wife would not be pleased if she found out about the truly awful things that were going on in those slavegirls' quarters. Second, Demmin Nas may have been a great general. He may have been our best hope to capture the Seeker and bring peace to the Midlands. However, he was also an ass. A mean ass, who had the power to kill his soldiers on a whim. My chance of surviving just shot up. I may live to see my pension after all. Plus we still have Darken Rahl on our side, who is worth a dozen Demmin Nases. At least.


The second big development that kept me away was that I was stationed at the Mord Sith's castle. That's right. Let that sink in. I was stationed in the home of gorgeous women clad in skin-tight red leather. The gods smiled upon me. Of course, these women were terrifying in every sense of the world. What is up with that baton they carry around anyways? I saw them do some horrible things in my time at their castle. But I also got to see them at their unbridled sexiest. Unfortunately, D'Haran soldiers are only stationed with the Mord Sith for 2 weeks. No one is quite sure why, but if you ask me it's because any longer around those excrutiating beauties and the soldiers would start to have damage due to the excitement--if you know what I mean. Plus I think only being there for two weeks cuts down on the chances that one of the Mord Sith will decide to torture you just for the fun of it. Those are some psychotic women.


Anyways, it's a return to the normal life for me. I'm back at home for a few days before heading back out into the Midlands to try and kill that pathetic Seeker again. In the meantime, wonder how the wife would look in red leather...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Diary of a D'haran




First of all, I want to clear something up. We are D’Haran soldiers. Not Taharan soldiers. For some reason, that Seeker douche always sounds like he is using a “T” when he describes us.


Second, I am not some evil guy trying to kill everyone in the Midlands. I have a wife and a child at home. I’m earning an honest day’s pay wearing this sweet uniform and body armor. I get to keep order and peace in areas we take over. Most of these people are ignorant and dirt poor. They don’t give a damn if we stop a few rabble rousers from forming mobs or talking about overthrowing the government. The peasants want food and shelter, not liberty and justice.


Third, what is the deal with the Seeker? Isn’t he supposed to have the strength of a hundred men when he uses the Sword of Truth? Are these 100 sick, crippled, old dudes? Have you seen him fight? It takes him like five minutes to kill 4 D’Haran soldiers. That’s like 100 to 4 odds in his favor. My buddy James in the D’Haran Central Midlands Army (DCMA) says he even survived a fight with the Seeker. He told me that the Seeker attacked him and a fellow DCMA soldier in some attempt to save a little girl. It took the Seeker multiple attempts to kill his friend and he ended up just bashing James in the head with the hilt of the sword. Let me re-state that James told me this story. That means the guy who is supposed to wield a sword with the strength of 100 men hit James in the head with the hilt of a sword and did not kill him! He should have shattered James’ head into a thousand pieces! Maybe this guy isn’t really the Seeker. If he is I don’t think we have much to fear.