The Illiterate Midlands Peasant

I was the idea-man behind this blog.  Not the effort-man, or the writer-man, or the formatting-man.  Just the idea-man.  I discovered the epic television quest that is Legend of the Seeker from the safe confines of my sofa on one fateful Sunday.  I was the one who pushed for the creation of this blog. However, I am also the one who refuses to read any of the books.  In the spirit of the average Illiterate Midlands Peasant (or, IMP) I am restricting my knowledge of the Seeker strictly to information that can be relayed visually or orally and writing from the perspective of an IMP.  As a result, I may get some facts wrong.  I may be confused about the plot in a way that those who have read the Sword of Truth series will not be.  I also will never complain about the story "not being true to the book."  Because for this IMP, the books simply do not exist.

 
In addition to introducing myself in this initial post as the IMP, I would like to point out the things that confuse me about this particular episode.  Things that this IMP sees happen on the show that result in a "WTF?!" reaction.  First, WTF was up with that creepy doll?  Putting aside the pederast qualities of Zed and the little girl, why did the doll not tell the girl where to run to in the woods when she asked it?  I mean, as revealed at the end of the episode, the Zed Darken Rahl was talking to was a life-sized puppet. So, why couldn't the real Zed speak through the doll to tell the girl where to go?  WTF?! 

Second, when the girl (I believe her name is Rachel) runs out of the castle she gets lost. Even this IMP could remember the directions: run out of the castle until you reach the stream; follow the stream to the hill overlooking the castle.  I mean damn little girl.  I know you've been locked up and abused by an evil mini-Devils Wears Prada girl, but I would think that would have improved your memory.  If I got pimp-smacked every time I forgot one item in an elaborate list of wants given to me by my evil princess mistress you can be damn sure I would remember "go to the stream, follow it to the hill."  But she still gets lost.  WTF?! 

Third, I am just an IMP, but Richard was your plan really to shoot Darken Rahl with a crossbow??!  Haven't you been telling us over and over and over again that you were the only person who could kill Darken Rahl and you had to do so with the Sword of Truth?!  So, please forgive this IMP for being confused when you planned on killing the evil sorcer with a piece of wood launched by an everyday crossbow from 100 yards.  WTF?!

 
Fourth, and finally (for this episode), why on earth does the queen give her little evil daughter a key to the treasure room???!!  As an IMP I have never had any treasures, let alone a special room to put them in.  But giving your little creature a key to that room is just plain idiotic.  I don't understand it.  WTF?!
 

That's all for now kids.