Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Illiterate Midlands Peasant


The IMP returns!  Sorry for the absence, but it's hard to blog about reruns.  For those who forgot, I am writing from the perspective of an illiterate Midlands Peasant (or, IMP), who cannot read (and therefore has not read the books).  Basically, my knowledge of the Legend of the Seeker's world is restricted solely to the tv show.  So, if there are plot holes that can only be explained by the books then to me there are simply friggin' plot holes.  More often than not my main gripe with this show is that it is full of WTF moments.  Perhaps I shouldn't say "gripe," because half of the show's entertainment value comes from moments where something happens on screen and my brain wants to explode because it is so ridiculous.


Turning to this week's episode, there were quite a few WTF moments.  First, WTF was up with those random dudes breaking into the Kieran's Tomb?  This is where Zedd wanted to hide the Box of Orden?  I realize that the main entrance of the tomb is different from the actual Crypt of Kieran where Zedd wanted to put the Box, but seriously those random vagrants bought a spell to break in.  Read that again: they bought a spell from someone and it worked to open the Tomb.  I think Darken Rahl would have figured out a way inside.  Plus, it only took the powers of two wizards to open the Crypt itself.  How hard would it be for Darken Rahl to round up two wizards?!  I mean, we know from the infamous flashback episode that he already has one working for him.


Second, why did the wizard who trapped Kieran not leave a note explaining himself?  WTF??!!  I mean, he took the type to carve into the simple wooden casket that Kieran's remains were there.  Why not a "O, and dudes, do not release this crazy murderous psycho.  The legend about him is false.  He is totally nuts." heads up to any future Seekers or wizards who stumbled upon his remains?  Was he in a rush?  I mean, obviously his quest with the Seeker ended.  I bet he had oodles of time.


Third, I have stumbled upon a question that needs answering.  So, Confessor's take over your will by looking you in the eyes, right?  Without doing that they cannot confess someone.  Why doesn't the Seeker and his Confessor simply not look each other in the eye during sex?  Would that be hard?  It's not like they can't kiss (it's rude to look!) and it's not like there are not multiple positions they could use to avoid eye contact.  And it's not like people have never used a blindfold whilst getting it on in the Midlands before.  WTF??!!!


Fourth, and finally, why was the wizard who helped Kieran dressed like an extra from a flashback scene in the Highlander?  WTF?! "I am Spell McWizard from the clan retard who will pick a murderous bastard to be the Seeker."  O, and nice work on that Seeker selection Amfortas.  Kieran came across as a bit of a douche even before he got it on with his Confessor, so let's not pretend that was the root cause of everything.


If you had your own WTF?! moments feel free to share 'em.  I'll be sure to steal your hilarity and not give you any credit!

Like the blog? Sign up to receive our Feed through Feedburner.

No comments:

Post a Comment